h a l f b a k e r yThis is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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How many times has this happened to you?
You bought an expensive theater seat, or alternatively you’re settling down for a long flight, when all of the sudden you realize that there are two hulking 300+ lbs people sitting on either side of you. Now normally I have nothing against large-set people.
Especially if they're flying Thin Air, and I’m not subsidizing their tickets (see link). However, there is one place where I draw the line – I want, ney, I insist on having half of each armrest, which are rightfully mine. But then it inevitably starts. They oh so casually push a bit, and you push back, and “without noticing” they then push back a little harder. And before you know it they have taken over the entire armrest, and you’re left with nothing. And of course by now they’re already sleeping, or the movie has begun (or both) and there is little you can do about it without seeming like a jerk.
But all that ends today. Because from now on armrests will have tiny electrified metallic bumps. The half closest to you will have a positive charge, and the half furthest away from will have a negative charge (the polarity would alternate between adjacent seats). As long as you keep your arm on your half – there’s no problem. But if you try to take over the other side of the armrest, you will get zapped!
OK, that’s the idea. And it has a few minor caveats. You’ll need to have some electric-free seats set aside for the elderly, and for people with heart-pacers etc. You’ll also want the option to turn off the zapping charge, so that people who want to hold hand (or arm wrestle) can do so, if both sides agree. The zapping current should be set as constant, and the voltage should be allowed to vary (within limits) so that people with exposed wet skin won’t get a bigger zap than people with dry skin, or sleeves for that matter. And no, the electric arc won’t cause the oxygen-rich environment in the plane cabin to ignite; for the same reason that people for many years were allowed to light up cigarettes.
Thin Air
Thin_20Air
[imho, Mar 05 2009]
taser jacket
http://www.no-contact.com/
[FlyingToaster, Mar 06 2009]
[link]
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Never mind the arms, what about the legs? I remember once after several long, long transoceanic connecting flights, I was on the final leg, about a 1 hour connecting flight to my nearest city. I was in the middle seat. The guy to my right was OK, but the guy to the left was massive, and his legs were the pinnacle of all his achievements - I mean, they were huge. He made an attempt to keep his right leg under control, but before long over it went , straying into my 'airspace; so to speak. I held off as long as i could, but I was exhausted, I needed to sleep, until finally, I gave in. There we sat, thigh against thigh, intimately rubbing against each other the whole time, the warmth and sweat building to a shudderring crescendo of friction and heat, leg-lovers we had become. |
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I know, what is needed is a kind of metal strapping where you can hold your legs together to prevent being inadveertently leg-raped in just such a fashion. |
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Hey, how about bringing your own arm-rests? |
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What if the person sitting next to you gets zapped and you accidently touch them? Won't you get zapped too? All of the sudden? |
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Not necessarily. If the other guy creeps into your space and touches your hand and the metallic nubs on your side simultaneously. The current will go through him not you. However, you are right that if you touch the other guy along the path of the electricity, you both will get zapped. |
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