In the Sherlock Holmes story "The Speckled Band", the villain, Dr.
Grimesby Roylott of Stoke Moran, keeps a venomous snake in a
safe
in his room.
This proves to be unwise.
However, the principle is not without merit.
It's one thing to break into a safe for the purposes of theft; it's
quite another to break into a safe containing an aggressive,
venomous
reptile.
To exploit this extra security feature, BorgCo are developing a safe
designed explicitly to provide a residence for the snake of your
choice.
The safe is delivered, complete with occupant, by our skilled
installation team, who fix it in the desired location and connect an
electricity supply.
Simply place your valuble items in the compartment and shut the
door. The snake then has free run of the interior, with light and
heat
provided.
To access your items, enter your combination. A sequence of cues
lures the snake into a separate area, which is then partitioned off,
and an indication that it is safe to open the door is given.
The snake is monitored remotely by BorgCo veterinarians to
ensure
its health and welfare. Each week, a cartridge is delivered
containing
a live mouse. Remove the existing cartridge and discard as it will
contain the snake's droppings, and possibly shed skin, and insert
the
fresh one. Snake's expectations of life aren't high, and a warm
place
to live and a mouse once a week is their idea of the good life.
We regret that the Komodo Dragon version, for larger items, is not
likely to be on the market in the forseeable future, due to
unanticipated technical issues*.
*Applications for the unexpectedly (and tragically) vacated post of
Monitor Lizard
Wrangler are invited, with a very attractive remuneration and
benefits package. Candidates with specific experience of
persuading very large, bad-tempered reptiles to regurgitate
Grandpa's
gold half-hunter pocket watch and chain will be especially
welcome.
Applicants should note that the contract includes a far-reaching
confidentiality clause, particularly relating to anything (or anyone)
else said lizard may regurgitate.