h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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This multi-layered helmet has everything you need in it,
to protect your head in the case of a meteorite impact.
[Edit: Please note - This product was located under
product:safe by machine translation. ]
The composite carbon MH has an extremely thin and
lightweight layer of lead, to stop
radioactivity, a
Styrofoam layer to protect you from debris, and a very
thin
layer of gold colored plastic, so that 'gold' will mentioned.
Built with homeopathy in mind, a thin layer of
imperceptible meteorite material is included, as well as
an
extremely low power magnet just for good measure. The
magnetic map of the MH will be printed in the manual,
explaining the product, and will add to its placebo affect.
Will sell like hotcakes, and cost almost nothing to make.
-----
People who bought this, also bought the anti hurricane
coat, the home anti earthquake warning device, and the
child leash.
[link]
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This product was located under product:safe by
machine translation. |
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My safe is already very well protected from meteorites;
my having encased it in concrete and buried it at the
bottom of a convenient mineshaft. |
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//well protected from meteorites; my having encased it in concrete and buried it at the bottom of a convenient mineshaft// ... thus offering an obvious method of protecting onesself as well. |
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// The Chelyabinsk meteorite ... of 15 February 2013 ... caused a series of shock waves that shattered windows, damaged approximately 7,200 buildings and left 1,500 people injured. The largest ... fragments having a total mass of 654 kg (1,442 lb) were raised from the bottom of the Chebarkul lake. // |
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Better to wrap your head in your towel, wrap your arms round yourself, and rock backwards and forwards with your eyes closed chanting "This isn't happening, this isn't happening ..." |
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It's a good notion putting the meteorite material into the
helmet. I mean what are the chances of having a
meteorite on your head being hit by another? |
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Yes, I'm a bit disappointed that the helmet is not just a meteorite itself, with an indent for the head... |
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Don't use a nickel-iron meteorite; they're highly conductive, and you might avoid an impact from another meteorite only to fall victim to a lighting strike. |
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The irony would be delicious. |
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//In case a meteorite hits, your safe// |
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It's very unlikely that a meteorite will hit, my safe.
It's in the third under-basement and, if anything
does get through the overlying 9 floors, chances are
I won't be around to worry about it. |
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Here I thought that this was going to be an alternative to the tinfoil hat. |
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Max, but how did your safe get to such an
underground location in the first place? And how
was
the third under-basement created? I suspect that
unbeknownst to you, a meteorite was involved. |
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Come to think of it, a meteorite safe would be
fantastic. The robbers would be afraid to get too
close, and anyways it would practically impossible
to get to it before impact. |
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In the 1991 gulf war, in which Israel was "not
involved" (except the country virtually closing
down, under a blitz of rockets from Iraq) we were
given boxes to carry with an "Anti Chemical
Biologic and Atomic Warefare Kit" , the contents
of which consisted of a gas mask (anti chemical),
an Atropine syringe (anti biologic), and a thin clear
plastic sheet with two handles, which you were to
cover yourself with (presumably anti Atomic). |
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//how was the third under-basement created? I
suspect that unbeknownst to you, a meteorite was
involved.// |
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Well, if it was a meteorite, then it did a very good
job of interior decor. Some of the plaster friezes in
the south-south-east wing of the third under-
basement are amongst the finest in Europe, albeit a
little pornographic for some tastes. |
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[pashute] - I think you'll find that the atropine was for nerve gas exposure. You'll know all about it due to the SLUDGE symptoms - (Salilvation, Lacrimation, Urination, defecation, gastro, emesis) - basically uncontrollable leaking out of all orifices. Atropine can be used (with caution) to reduce the effects of nerve gasses. |
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What's probably most interesting is what would happen if you autoinjected Atropine if exposed to a biological weapon. The atropine would do nothing to hinder infection, and would be like taking a massive overdose of speed or adrenaline, plus a little lsd. In that atropine is a deadly poison in the absence of a nerve agent reaction, choosing to hit yourself with the atropine upon biological weapon exposure might be viewed as a choice to die of atropine poisoning, instead of some weaponised disease. |
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In fact, I seem to recall reading that there were lots of issues with unnessecary application of atropine autoinjectors in Israel during the gulf war - possibly because of insufficient education about why/when to use it. |
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I am concerned the actual meterororoite might kick
the price up. They are hard to come by. Better to
use "the same alloyed space metal that comprises
actual meteorites". |
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