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Inspired by my needing a bulb replacement for my turn
signal on my Mustang and finding this:
"The rear turn signals, or rear blinkers help to indicate
your
intentions to the drivers around you. Occasionally these
bulbs share the function of the brake light or the tail
light.
Tools, gloves,
shop towels, protective eye wear and new,
long life bulbs are needed to get the job done right.
Keep
watching to see how to do this on your vehicle."
Introducing my first nomination for the Annual Squiddy
Awards. Most long winded, pointless, meandering
prologue
to an information post on the internet.
Instead of the answer being "Sylvania 7440: $7.95 - click
here to buy" you get the internet equivalent of getting
sprayed in the face by a squid, hence the term
"squidding"
the spraying of obscuring ink. "What is a tail light? Why
do
they call it a tail light? Do cars have tails? What is light?
Does the universe really exist? Is there a god? What tail
light replacement bulb would god suggest?"
I'm an impatient man and I want instant information, not
long winded prose about a toilet plunger or a rake. Tell
me how much it costs and shut up.
Each year the Squiddy would be awarded for different
categories...
....hold on.... wait.... losing interest in this post....
aaaaaand... I'm done.
The genealogy of the term "squid".
_22Squids_22
[doctorremulac3, Feb 07 2020]
[link]
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Countdown till somebody nominates this post for a Squiddy
in ten... nine... eight.... |
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"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of
RECIPE WEBSITES suddenly cried out in terror and were
suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened." |
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"a great disturbance in the sauce", shirley ? |
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If you googled "how to change a Mustang turn signal bulb",
you're lucky you didn't get sucked into a page on Freudian
analysis. |
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That might have at least been a bit interesting. I didn't need
the rundown on what a turn signal is used for. |
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"This is for all the people who need to replace their turn
signal light bulb but don't know what a turn signal is." |
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So how do they know it needs replacing? |
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The internet is a network of devices defined by common
communication protocols and assignments of resource
addresses delegated from a single international committee.
Just think; you might be using it right now! |
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This idea is basically the same as an award for mansplaining,
but without the gender politics. |
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I hate those posts SOOOO FREAKING MUCH. They're spam, really. Sites that reward posts based on number of people voting them helpful are the most targeted by squids. An internet squid will copy-paste generic advice about how to fix problems into a three-page novel and answer any question containing that word with his copy-paste. Ask the standard size of the wheel-lugs in a 1998 Toyota Corola and you'll get fifteen pages about Toyota wheels, and none of it will answer your question. Make a detailed post about the sound drivers in your Linux Mint system asking which config file to edit and you'll get ten pages of troubleshooting instructions for Linux that are not relevant to Mint. |
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Enough people are helped by one part of these novels that the posters are upvoted enough for the site to think they're actually helpful, leading to the single sentence post you're actually looking for being pushed down or even off the page of answers. |
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//an award for mansplaining// |
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[+1] if this includes 'helpful' posts with long winded
responses explaining why you don't need an answer to
the question as it was a stupid question, and I'm too
incompetent to actually answer anyway, or: you need
to format your hard drive. Very occasionally, you get:
"in preferences, uncheck: stupid feature put in by an
intern that I was too much of a spineless twat to stop
him writing, but if I remove it, the system won't
compile"... but who needs that answer? *SNAP* voice |
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Can the Squiddies include a section for those 5 paragraph, super light, articles spread over 24 web page clicks just for more Ad space? But I suppose I should just avoid them. |
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