h a l f b a k e r yThe best idea since raw toast.
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I am saddened by the casual loss of culture associated with the gradual practical modernization of the western landscape; in far away lands to the east there are pretty little shrines and mausaleums galore to this and that religious figure, while all we have is the ubiquitous (although sometimes not
ubiquitous enough) public toilet. To improve the landscape, I propose the forming of a new religious-traditional custom that encompasses the daily rituals of regular folk, so to speak. As I've mentioned elsewhere it seems strange that such a necessary component of human life would be so left aside from having its own religion, save for probably some forgotten menial god on the bottom rung of hinduism.
Naturally, the centerpiece for such a shrine would be a decorative, porcelain deity, made in the image of whichever god was in season in the local folklore. I see a goddess of agriculture happily accepting our rich deposits back to the earth, or a many-handed Vishnu holding toilet paper, a scrub brush, and a towel.
Baptism optional.
Porcelain God
http://christopher-...d.com/porcelain.htm
Paying Homage is an easy process. [thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Porcelain God
http://www.amazon.c...9917462#reader-link
The book [skinflaps, Jan 19 2005]
[link]
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And what about those that worship at the Urinal? Shall we cast them out, those that refuse to sit, those that we call Gents? |
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I feel a need to desecrate this porcelain sculpture. |
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And the Lord said to Lurch, "Shit upon me in the men’s room and leave it there, and I will give you the roll of paper, with the law and commands I have written for their use." |
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I suppose the downside might be the drunks confusing the loo for the mall water sculpture. |
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Excellent idea. I'm getting flushed just thinking about it. |
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<splash> Oops, I dropped your croissant... got it. Wanna bite? + |
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The porcelain God is like a young bird at feeding time when the Mother bird returns to the nest to regurgitate yummies. |
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And this would be what, coprolatry? Latrinalatry? |
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Thou shalt leave the seat down. |
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Thou shalt replace the toilet paper roll when empty. |
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Thall shalt aim. (for the gents out there) |
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Bushido toilet attendents... hm. |
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thou shalt flush thine own sacrifices |
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and brush thine own skid marks |
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you must be a physics teacher at some community college or something! |
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thou shall scrubbith thy innards to make thee white as snow! |
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ye are forbiddenith to cloggith thy toilett-ith with too much TP |
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