Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Professional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.

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The Porcelain God

 Transform the throne into an altar
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2) 		  [vote for,
against]

I am saddened by the casual loss of culture associated with the gradual practical modernization of the western landscape; in far away lands to the east there are pretty little shrines and mausaleums galore to this and that religious figure, while all we have is the ubiquitous (although sometimes not ubiquitous enough) public toilet. To improve the landscape, I propose the forming of a new religious-traditional custom that encompasses the daily rituals of regular folk, so to speak. As I've mentioned elsewhere it seems strange that such a necessary component of human life would be so left aside from having its own religion, save for probably some forgotten menial god on the bottom rung of hinduism.

Naturally, the centerpiece for such a shrine would be a decorative, porcelain deity, made in the image of whichever god was in season in the local folklore. I see a goddess of agriculture happily accepting our rich deposits back to the earth, or a many-handed Vishnu holding toilet paper, a scrub brush, and a towel.

Baptism optional.

—RayfordSteele, Jun 11 2003

Porcelain God http://christopher-...d.com/porcelain.htm
Paying Homage is an easy process. [thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Porcelain God http://www.amazon.c...9917462#reader-link
The book [skinflaps, Jan 19 2005]


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Annotation:







       //Baptism optional.//   

       Yuk!
—snarfyguy, Jun 11 2003
   

       And what about those that worship at the Urinal? Shall we cast them out, those that refuse to sit, those that we call Gents?
—pluterday, Jun 11 2003
   

       I feel a need to desecrate this porcelain sculpture.
—lurch, Jun 11 2003
   

       And the Lord said to Lurch, "Shit upon me in the men’s room and leave it there, and I will give you the roll of paper, with the law and commands I have written for their use."
—pluterday, Jun 11 2003
   

       I suppose the downside might be the drunks confusing the loo for the mall water sculpture.
—RayfordSteele, Jun 11 2003
   

       Excellent idea. I'm getting flushed just thinking about it.
—lostdog, Jun 11 2003
   

       <splash> Oops, I dropped your croissant... got it. Wanna bite? +
—saker, Jun 12 2003
   

       The porcelain God is like a young bird at feeding time when the Mother bird returns to the nest to regurgitate yummies.
—thumbwax, Jun 12 2003
   

       And this would be what, coprolatry? Latrinalatry?
—DrCurry, Jun 12 2003
   

       Thou shalt leave the seat down.
—DrCurry, Jun 12 2003
   

       Thou shalt replace the toilet paper roll when empty.
—Worldgineer, Jun 12 2003
   

       Thall shalt aim. (for the gents out there)
—justadesigner, Jun 12 2003
   

       Bushido toilet attendents... hm.
—waugsqueke, Jun 12 2003
   

       thou shalt flush thine own sacrifices
—Name got took, Jun 12 2003
   

       and brush thine own skid marks
—FarmerJohn, Jun 12 2003
   

       you must be a physics teacher at some community college or something!   

       thou shall scrubbith thy innards to make thee white as snow!   

       ye are forbiddenith to cloggith thy toilett-ith with too much TP
—quantum_flux, Apr 22 2007
   


 

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