Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
There goes my teleportation concept.

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Testicular shaving cage

Protect the 'nads while trimming the hedges.
  (+9, -4)
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This device is a wire mesh shaped like an upside down baseball cap. The mesh is tight enough to allow hair to pass through, but not delicate scrotal skin. Placing the cage over your family jewels (or under, depending on how you look at it), allows the user to quickly run an electric trimmer over their privates for a quick painless trim with no chance of pinched skin (I hate that).
trekbody, Oct 21 2004

It's a scream - Canadian TV http://www.cbc.ca/nerve/sneakpeek/
Waxing the sac. [ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 28 2004]

[link]






       You left your teens.   

       Gotta be wax. Wax the sack, wax the sack!   

       Sorry
etherman, Oct 21 2004
  

       <passes the tweezers>
po, Oct 21 2004
  

       Or Nair.   

       "Oh, God! It burns! It BUUUUR....heyyyy...."
shapu, Oct 21 2004
  

       The person who would use a cage--who would even want to shave there--must be especially furry. And if so, perhaps a patterned cut might be better—something like a French poodle.
ldischler, Oct 21 2004
  

       A scrotal poodle? Otherwise known as the scroodle? Who gives you a cut like that?
trekbody, Oct 21 2004
  

       OMG that's hilarious!
EvilPickels, Oct 21 2004
  

       //Who gives you a cut like that?// I would guess a professional scroodler would need to carry a lot of insurance.
Worldgineer, Oct 21 2004
  

       "Sweeney Todd" would never be the same again.
RayfordSteele, Oct 22 2004
  

       I am frightened to say this isn't as bad as I had anticipated.
5th Earth, Oct 22 2004
  

       Really? //Wax//, //Nair//, //tweezers//, //Scroodle// - I think it's every bit as bad as I anticipated.
vigilante, Oct 22 2004
  

       I'll have one black teste-dread, one white teste-dread, and one-with-a-bit-of-stripe-on teste-dread,   

       ...with beads.   

       ...Please.
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 22 2004
  

       Adapt it to allow electrolysis treatment of the hairs. That way, they won't grow back for weeks, and you'll never produce children who might have similarly horrendous ideas.
david_scothern, Oct 22 2004
  

       wax it - go for the full treatment - commonly known as the back, sack and crack...
goff, Oct 22 2004
  

       You could make the cage shaped like a football helmet. Put your team's emblem on it. Just one more way of showing support.
MrDaliLlama, Oct 22 2004
  

       Extra testicle, [Consul]?
lintkeeper2, Oct 22 2004
  

       I think DaliLlama has hit on something. You could sell cages with a solid section - basically a mask, so you would trim everywhere around the masked area but not underneath. It would allow fast trimming of designs onto your privates - or even sayings like "Bowlers due it in the lanes" - might eliminate the need for those atrocious T-shirts. Perhaps just leaving your pecker's name drawn in pubes - Big John or something (in my case Little John).
trekbody, Oct 22 2004
  
      
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