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Further to the ideas linked below this style of umbrella ensures the safety of innocent passers by.
The problem with umbrellas is that their pointy edges can get in the eyes of other people. This is particularly the case where the 'innocent' is taller than the umbrellee.
To combat the this
problem, I propose that every umbrella is made with a telescopic shaft. Any combination of umbrella and weilder will be made so that the 'shield' part of the umbrella is no lower than say, 7ft.
This height shall be sufficient to ensure the eye safety of the general populace.
Expected difficulties: i) Rain rarely falls straight down, this may lead to excessive tilting of tele-umbrella. ii) May be chaotic in the pressence of wind <parp> (!).
Umbrella Mirror
http://www.halfbake...a/Umbrella_20Mirror For the guidance of umbrella weilders [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004]
Umbrella Driving Test
http://www.halfbake...la_20driving_20test ditto [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004]
Safe Umbrella
http://www.halfbake...dea/Safe_20Umbrella [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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There was a set of pictures winging its way around e-maildom a while ago showing half-baked japanese inventions. One of these was an umbrella with a plastic tube that fell down around the umbrellee with transparent bits for seeing out of. This could be adapted to fit a tall umbrella and solve the "wind in the willows" problem. Can't quite see how it would accomodate telescopy though. I'll try some doodles later this evening, report back tomorrow. Maybe. |
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I hear where you're coming from Jin. There seems to be a breed of people who have a complete disregard for other people's perfectly understandable fondness of their sight. I've lost count of the number of times I've narrowly escaped a gouging and thought "that could have *actually* popped my eye", while some fuckwit wanders off, waving his umbrella around, open-mouthedly chewing a Ginsters, the wrapper to which has been unhesitatingly dropped on the ground, heading back to his hideous job, which is probably some kind of direct marketing entrepeneur, responsible for turning trees in Brazil into "Win £££££ if you match 3 symbols" inserted into every publication I read. |
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Ahem. Anyway, I don't think this is the answer. Cretin described above would use a normal umbrella for the increased manoevrability it would give him in a telescopic environment. I think that we must be sure to put little rubber blobs on the ends of all spars. |
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The Japanese are really good at umbrellas. When was I was last over there, I picked up a bunch of tinted tranparent ones. Using one, you can see where you're going as you walk into the wind, making it a much safer operation for everyone. And talk about stylish! Why can't I find these back home? |
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You people know *nothing* about style! (turns nose up & away dramatically; storms out of room) |
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(after viewing [waug]'s link) Oh those dome ones are stupid looking. It's not even tinted pink for cryin' out loud... |
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Hey, you must have missed the "clear curved handle with bubbles and silvertone accent." |
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