Talking Trash

I don’t know about you, but I always tend to overfill the kitchen garbage bag. Looks like there’s plenty of room for more, but when I pull it out and try to twist-tie it there’s about half an inch left on top and the damn tie unties on the way to the dumpster and the top droops open and the toilet paper rolls hop out and roll around on the street and as I try to corral them, the beer cans fall out clanking and everybody’s walking their dog and I’m totally embarrassed in front of the whole neighborhood.

I thus propose the “smart” trash bag that tells you when it’s time to take a dump. No more eyeballing, no more guessing… no more messing.

Here’s how it works: A sensor strip is incorporated around the bag at the level of maximum capacity. i.e. the point to where it may be filled yet still close securely. When the garbage reaches the sensor line the bag lets you know it’s time to go. How? Ah, the “smart” part. A tiny chip like those used in musical greeting cards is activated and cries out, “Trash me. Trash meeee.” *ref: end of The Fly – Vincent Price version*

But why not just print the line? Aw come on, this is so much more fun. Imagine the looks you’ll get on the way to the dumpster toting a bag that’s screaming, “Trash me. Trash meeee.” Makes taking out the garbage fun again. And not to mention when you open that dumpster and hear a chorus of tiny voices all singing, “Trash me. Trash meeee.”

GLAD, if you want to pick up on this, here’s your ad slogan: “Glad Bags. Now we’re Talking Trash!”