Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Apply directly to forehead.

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Talking Cat Collar

Much easier than a talking dog collar.
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Easy to program, just 1 button. Say the little beast's name and you're done. When the collar hears you say the name, it plays random responses. A couple of examples.

"Christ, you again?"

"Don't you ever shut up? You should hear that cutsy voice you use on me, and look in the mirror while you're doin' it. I mean, damn."

"If this ain't about feeding me go f yourself"

"Oh joy,the cat lady's got something to say. I'm all a-tingle."

doctorremulac3, Sep 09 2010

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       Voice controled cat collars. A great idea. With more than one command they could have more functions. With commands such as - "Get off that you little b*****d" which could cause it to emit a noise it dosn't like until you say - "good kitty".   

       With the addition of some wires going into the rather small cat brain you could even make it remote control. Imagine a cat that actually paid attention to you at your whim and not just when its hungry!
saedi, Sep 09 2010
  

       [saedi] You can make a cat pay attention to you all the time by keeping it hungry all the time. But who wants needy cats?
mouseposture, Sep 10 2010
  

       "excuse me - what's a wheelie bin?"
po, Sep 10 2010
  

       // who wants needy cats //   

       Just leave out the "needy". It makes so much more sense that way.   

       #include <EOSSACR.H>
8th of 7, Sep 10 2010
  

       Let's throw in a "beep incessantly" function like there are on car remotes, so you can find the cat easily when it disappears.
subatomicsushi, Sep 13 2010
  

       Anyone who knows cats will know that if the cat doesn't like the collar, it'll be gone by morning.   

       My cats are indignant enough when they get new flea repellent collars, which have a small bell. I don't know how they do it, but they both manage to get rid of the bell within a couple of days.
Twizz, Sep 13 2010
  
      
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