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One of my profoundest regrets about being human is that I am not equipped with a splendid and useful tail, like many other members of the animal kingdom.
I am sure that, with a little thought, the genetics chaps could come up with some scheme which would enable people to grow the tail of their choice,
fully functional.
This would be a fascinating cultural phenomenon. A tail could be an additional emotional indicator, as well as (if of the prehensile variety) a useful third hand, for holding umbrellas and the like.
Whole new sections of the clothing, hairdressing and pornography industries would come into being. Religious fanatics would grow tails, solely for the purpose of being ashamed of them and tucking them away in the trousers. Tyrannical regimes would gleefully lop off their subjects tails for minor transgressions.
The possibilities are vast.
(??) What is a furry?
http://www.zebra.net/~fivel/furry.htm
[StarChaser, Jul 19 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]
(??) Tailseekers
http://www.geocities.com/tailseeker
Tailseekers Unite! [Wolfie, Jul 19 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]
(??) Viro's link.
http://www.snakerobots.com/main.htm
Some really cool snakelike robots. Damn, now I want one of these... [StarChaser, Jul 19 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Kangaroos - do they use their tail for hopping?
http://www.stfx.ca/...errestrialloco5.jpg
Yes, at low velocities. When they need to go fast, they switch to two-limb drive. [jutta, Jul 19 2000]
PubMed's overview
http://www.ncbi.nlm...ed&from_uid=7070433
Interesting collection of related medicine articles. [till, Feb 06 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
"Fur"
http://www.brunchin...atures/furries.html
From the Brunching Shuttlecocks. "...it's perfectly okay to spend eight weeks and five hundred dollars on a homemade badger suit so that you can wear it in public, but if you have sex in it you're just weird." [waugsqueke, Jun 28 2002]
Baked: 'do humans ever have tails?'
http://www.straight...lassics/a1_077.html
Only a maximum of 9 inches long though. [pottedstu, Jul 09 2002]
Wagging tail
http://www.wolftronix.com/tail/index.html
A mechanical wolf tail that wags. He's since had it airbrushed, so it looks better. [reece, Jul 24 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
possibilities? Probably.
http://www.popsci.c...2543,576464,00.html
brain activity controlled limbs. [ato_de, Oct 21 2004]
Animal Teeth
http://www.halfbake...idea/Animal_20Teeth
Similar idea but with teeth [DesertFox, Oct 21 2004]
Sony advertisement
http://www.youtube....watch?v=VsQE-Y2O2Fs
...people with tails is the current advertising gimmick for sony [xaviergisz, Oct 21 2004, last modified Mar 06 2013]
Venus On the Half Shell
http://en.wikipedia...s_on_the_Half-Shell
The fun you can have with a tail, including sex, was covered pretty well in Venus On the Half Shell, by "Kilgore Trout" [jcatkeson, Apr 28 2006]
Screw On Mohawk
http://www.sonypict...tabase/ep_121b.html
plate in the head with holes through the skin... [rascalraidex, Aug 17 2006]
Thought Controlled Prosthetics
http://www.ric.org/bionic/
how the muscle contractions would work [rascalraidex, Aug 17 2006]
Thought Controlled Prosthetics Made Real.
http://news.bbc.co....ci/tech/7423184.stm
BBC story on robotic arms controlled by thought alone. Not sure why they felt the need to use animals for this experiment but the outcome is fairly remarkable. [DrBob, May 29 2008, last modified Mar 12 2009]
t-shirt leftovers
http://www.panix.com/~jutta/t-shirt/
Apparently, we're out of L and S. [jutta, Nov 06 2009]
Tails
http://www.kigu.co.uk/shop/tails.html
Sickeningly cutesie. [DrBob, Nov 28 2012]
Tailly: a heart-rate-controlled costume tail
http://boingboing.n...rate-controlle.html
[xaviergisz, Mar 06 2013]
(?) Tails for Tykes
http://www.running-...dinosaur-tails.html
[DrCurry, May 23 2013]
(?) Walken wishes he had a tail
http://www.youtube....watch?v=RGlRYPL0iqE
I love this. [theleopard, May 23 2013]
Kickstarter campaign (2013)
http://www.kickstar...n-tail?ref=category
Until Sep 12. Remote-controlled. [jutta, Aug 19 2013]
Asos dinosaur tails
http://m.asos.com/m...Plp&un_jtt_redirect
[Ling, Aug 28 2016]
The latest
https://gizmodo.com...rry-with-1836974428
in robo-tail progress. [neutrinos_shadow, Aug 06 2019]
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I would think that sports and arts (especially the martial arts) would also undergo drastic modifications. |
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I had already voted it down, but the part about religious fanatics is too funny :-). |
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I'm all for one, where do I sign up? |
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Could bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "Go f**k yourself" :) |
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Just think - with the tail of a Spider Monkey and a generous pair of trousers you could surreptitiously scratch all those hard to reach places. |
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The sure sign of a mature technology is its adoption by the pornography industry - we saw it with the VCR, the telephone and the internet. I think the genetically engineered tail would be taken up pretty quickly. |
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Other way around...Pornography provides the impetus, then 'mature industry' picks it up. How many movies on DVD take advantage of the multiple camera angle ability? And how many of them aren't porn movies? |
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Umm - dunno. Not my area of expertise :-)
I did remember at the weekend though, I once read that some hundreds of years ago there was a minor royal family some of whom had small tails, thanks to generations of inbreeding (so, a similar kind of deformity to the Hapsburg Lip).
Inbreeding also caused some characters in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years Of Solitude to have small tails. |
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I once had a cat named Lucy - a big, fluffy, white cat with a matching tail. That tail was the subject of much envy: it was an accessory, a statement of mood, and a method of dismissal. I want a tail like Lucy's. |
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The possibilities for dating boggle the mind. |
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Especially with syndromes around called "alien hand syndrome"...in which your hand does things of its own accord that you do not consciously direct. |
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"Sorry. That wasn't me; it was my alien hand." |
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Only now it's the tail...wandering. |
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In college, the girls called me "the octopus". Hey, it's a start... |
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yes, let's all get tails so we ahve one more thing to judge eachother by... one step forward for the individual, two steps way back for society... |
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yes, let's all get tails so we have one more thing to judge eachother by... one step forward for the individual, two steps way back for society... |
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PeterSealy, since when have humans proved intelligent? Perhaps tails would actually help us to develop intelligence. |
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Starchaser- This may be pretty obsolete now, but I have a few pornos on DVD with multiple angles. Vivid Video uses it quite a bit, but it isn't really a different angle, just different footage of the same scene. Ahem. |
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That's what I meant. Beta died because the people who ran it didn't want to let it be used for porn. Secure servers on the internet were developed mostly so people could buy porn without getting their card numbers scammed (Any more than by the porn site, anyway). |
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About the only technology not driven by porn is computers, CPU's and video cards...that tends to be driven by gamers. |
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my tail is bigger than yours |
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i want a prehensile tail so freakin' bad.... |
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You could get your tail pierced like 85 times to be "bad". |
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Do people fidget with their hands and fingers because we no longer have a tail to wag? Just thinking... |
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Anyways, I'll take a big bushy squirrel tail, please. |
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Hard to pierce a tail, it's all fur and bone. |
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A squirrel tail would be lots of fun to fidget with...they seem to enjoy it too... |
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I haver strong feelings about this. I actually proposed this idea to my peers a few months back. They laughed, they mocked. I was shunned for weeks. A veritable social outcast. They called me "TailGirl" I'm glad I can find solidarity here on half-baked. |
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On the same subject, surprisingly, maybe someone could find a use for the appendix. |
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And just think, now instead of doing the "tap-you-on-the-shoulder-and-pretend-it-wasn't-me" you could embarass someone 3-4 feet away. Increased ability to ridicule people. Nice. |
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Me and a mate of mine had this same discussion about a year ago. We came up with plans and everything- most of them involving staplers, and trips to the butcher shop. But, yeah, how cool would it be? A lot of people would be shocked, or offended at first- but as with many things, it would become mainstream, and Madonna would get one.
Most people rekon I'm unstable, or that I was dropped on my head when I was a nipper- I shouldn't have mentioned the stapler idea.
Place your order-
One tattooed prehensile monkey tail coming up! |
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Cosmicgirl: You're not alone. Look up 'furry' or 'furries' on the net. There are lots of us. |
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Yeah, like Cosmicgirl, no-one really took me seriously. I can't really blame them, but this subject has one hell of a following on-line. Some give it a second thought, and others instantly dismiss the idea- it's funny. |
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may I have an invisible, recyclable, luminous, lighter-than-air, anti-gravity tail made out of meat? |
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'Furries'--we certainly have a mammalocentric view, eh? Nobody mentioned a lovely finny fishtail or a lean and whiplike lizard tail. How about a black gothic scorpion tail curled over your left shoulder? Well, there's absterge--is that an alien tail? To be quite frank, my first thoughts were all of the furry variety too. And of course our genes probably favor that kind anyway. |
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Actually no. Reptiles, birds, insect/oids, dragons and other mythological critters are all 'furry' by courtesy. One of my best friends is a bluejay, and I myself am a part-time dragon. And mech. Ask me nicely sometime and I'll show you...We call ourselves 'furries' because the vast majority ARE mammalian, but everybody's welcome. |
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I didn't realize that, StarChaser. Interesting world you inhabit. Still, most of the annotations here referenced mammalian tails. That's interesting in a kind of have-nothing-better-to-think-about way, I guess. |
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Would still have to have muscles installed in the lower back to move it. Tails <Mammalian, at least> do not have their own muscles, much like fingers. They're moved by tendons and ligaments... |
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I have a fishtail...but no legs. All things considered, legs are much more useful from my point of view. |
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Careful what you wish for, Salmon. Remember the deal the Little Mermaid <Not the disney abortion, the other one> made... |
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um, I thought leathery/scaly tails had muscles. If you were to cut off a lizard's tail (and I don't know from firsthand experience, this is purely conjecture and hearsay), wouldn't it writhe around a bit without being connected to any tendons? Certainly, squirrel tails and the like aren't muscle, but muscly tails must exist, no? |
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Lizard tails do...I did say 'mammalian, at least'... |
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Few women have sexual needs that involve deep penetration to begin with; that's mostly just a male fantasy. (The place that you like to think you can stick your dick to make us feel like real women is where we stick a tampon five days a month and forget about it for most of the day.) There are very few nerve endings in a vagina. Check further up and outside for the fun parts, and yes, we have hands. |
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[Ejs, if you want to argue with me, respond to what I'm saying, not to what you think it sounds like. You're trying to argue from selective anecdotal evidence. A better measure of vaginal vs. clitoral preferences among women would be to compare the number of dildos sold, minus those intended for a male recipient, to the number of vibrators sold. My local sex toy store happens to be Good Vibrations, which stocks a large selection of dildos and targets women; they happen to publish their top ten bestselling toys. Vibrators: 8. Dildos: 0. Admittedly, one of the vibrators is part of a G-spot kit, and of course some of the buyers are men.] |
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Nevertheless, a nice bushy tail might be interesting for both sexes ... mhh. Furr.| — | ping,
May 19 2001, last modified May 22 2001 |
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Ping, you make it sound like women don't enjoy vaginal sex, and just put up with it so they can get direct clitoral stimulation later. You should go to your local sex toy shop and check out who's buying dildoes-- it's women, straight and gay (who also have hands). |
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Besides, we men don't stick our dicks there so you can feel like real women, we stick it there so we can feel like real men. ;) |
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Anyway, back to tails: As a baby step towards this, I'm going to strap a boa constrictor to my lower back, after I've implanted electrodes in its brain so I can control its movements with a joystick. In return, the boa constrictor will get to see what it's like having arms and legs. It doesn't get a joystick, though. |
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Actually, I'd rather have an elephant's trunk myself. It's a much more useful appendage than even the most prehensile of tails. The tip of it can grasp like a hand, taste like lips (I think) and snort like nostrils. Like having a big, wiggly Swiss Army knife stuck onto the front of your face.... Cool. |
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I would really like a skunk tail! It would make people obey me more, and watch out how they treat me... hehehehe! |
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hmm, sounds good, but the seating industry would have to make some major changes. you'd have to put it somewhere to drive a car. |
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One of the special interest groups at furry conventions is often Furgonomics. Where does one put the tail or wings... |
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I found this topic of discussion while searching about monkey tails. I really want a monkey tail. I infact am going to make some trousers with a monkey tail attachment so I can hold an umbrella or a sign or put my tail around some lovely girls waist. I am interested to learn more about this 'furries' group of Starchaser's. I want a cool monkey tail sooo much. Please Starchaser put up a url for the furries thing I want to meet other people who want tails. I know I probably can't get a real one. I want to however work on one I can control rather than one that has to be static until manipulated by hand. I am so plesed other people want a tail to. I thought I was alone until now. |
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Your friend whithout a tail but wants one, |
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Look at the 'What is a furry' link I posted earlier. There's a couple of good things on how to build tails, but they seem to be tango-uniform at the moment. I'd like to see one that would be controllable, myself; I've seen some ideas on it, but never a real one. |
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Hey thanx starchaser. Well I think I am a furry. I am going to make that monkey tail. Infact I want to have a whole monkey suit. If anyone finds a way of building a prehensile tail that works on its own please tell me I will love to know how to. |
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"Orgasmic Gardening" and "Butt Bra" may have done nothing for StarChaser's ability to feel sexual pleasure, but he, like every other person ever to see the ideas, was polite enough to not throw a bizarre tantrum over them. |
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Mephista, I invite you to read my annotations and my webpage, and show me where I said anything about wanting a tail for sex. I mentioned porn as a reply to Hippo saying that the VCR was adopted by porn purveyors. It had nothing to do with tails. |
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Labeling something a rant before someone else does doesn't make it less offensive. Being a furry, people already assume that I fuck animals, without knowing me at all. Try learning a little bit before whipping out your broad brush. |
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'Bizarre tantrum' is a good description of your bitching. I was asked a question, and I answered. |
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Don't make generalizations about things you don't understand. |
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Hold up, Mephista, what's this shit about me and tails and sexual stuff? I personally would NOT like a tail, nor would I want to use one for sex. So maybe I own a few "mature videos," that's nothing compared to the child molestors, rapists, and all the other shitheads running around the streets as we speak.
Face it: Many people have fetishes. Mine goes no further than having tendencies towards girls who are shorter (not midgets, mind you). Is there something sick and wrong with that? Does that mean if the girl isn't around 4'11" I won't have anything to do with her? No, it doesn't. Here's a thought: Do you have a favorite color/song/book? YOU DO?! THAT'S A FETISH! YOU'RE SICK AND CRAZY AND BUILD HUTS OUT OF ROCKS AND EAT CARDBOARD AND ALL THE OTHER STUFF PEOPLE WITH FETISHES DO!
Let me restate: I do NOT find anything sexually appealing about a tail. You very much misrepresented me.
People who are quick to slap labels and cast stones on others are VERY often people with dirtier hands than those they criticize. You can tell me you disapprove of anything I do, but do NOT falsely assume who I am or what I do. |
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mephista - read Starchaser's Jul 26 2000 annotation as to why I commented about pornography. You obviously know me better than I know myself, as how you suddenly decided that I must harbor nothing but evil sexual thoughts with tails just because I made a sidenote on DVDs, which has nothing to do with tails. Using YOUR assumption guidelines, I can safely assume that you like to burn children at the stake in your backyard, shoot at your neighbors with a sawed off shotgun, and knit. How do I know these things? Because you used the word "humorous," and anyone who comments about things being humorous, which isn't directly related to tails being used for sexual matters, does these things. Oh, and you're commenting about sexually using tails, which BY GOD means you are the Queen Master Goddess of Using Tails For Sexually Exploiting People, Animals, and Cars for Fun and Profit.
My first annotation had NOTHING to do with using tails sexually, and yet your psychic powers gave you the ability to see straight through this and into "THE REAL ME," the one who thinks about nothing but hot sweaty Tail Sex. Maybe you should have a psychic line! I'd call it!
"Mephista! Help! What should I do with my life?" I'd say.
"Stop thinking about Tail Sex you damn dirty ape!" you'll scream at me.
"I was actually thinking about tanks running over Kung-Fu ninjas, but since you are Grand Master Psychic I must have actually been thinking about hard pounding Tail Sex! What a fool I am!"
"You are scum! Die! I summon Pokemon!"
"nnoooooooo!!" |
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Given the sexual overtones of the number of 'For' votes currently standing at 69, I don't know if I should change my vote from For to Negative or Neutral. If I change it and somebody else comes along and votes for it, then it will be in the 69 position again. Then If someone else changes their vote to Negative or Neutral, and someone else comes along it will be going right back to 69 yet again. If some evil person amongst us sees that a member has swollen the count to beyond 69, they may try to manipulate the other members by applying slight pressure in order to get back into the 69 position. Then again, if those who have cast negative or no votes in the past change their votes to 'For', the tables may turn and go to say - 77, with 77, you get 8 more. There are those who have their hands tied, albeit losely - yet still show no resistance - perhaps they are submissive. There are others who display dominant characteristics, even though it appears they have assumed the missionary position. Naaaaah - Ithink I'll leave my vote to 'For' for the time being. |
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The idea is about humans with tails. Obviously if some
humans think lewd thoughts in connection with mention
of the idea, the same lewd thoughts would come into play
if the idea were to be implemented somehow. So it seems
perfectly legitimate then to discuss any possible sexual
aspect of the notion. |
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Present votes suggest a maximum milestone cap of 88. However, achieving a 96 would be the ultimate aesthetic in light of the core visual. |
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"Freud's mystic world of meaning needn't have us mystified,
It's really very simple what your psyche tries to hide,
A thing's a phallic symbol if it's longer than it's wide,
As the 'id' goes marching on." |
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--"Glory, Glory Psychotherapy", by Melanie Safka |
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Hey, I'm still having trouble using these crazy opposable thumbs. This space bar's a pain in the butt! |
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Mephista, I said 'fidget', not 'masturbate'.
Main Entry: 2fidget
Date: 1754
intransitive senses : to move or act restlessly or nervously |
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I have seen squirrels sit in one place and move their rear end side to side, flicking their tails left, right and forward. They look cute when they do this. |
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My mention of piercing was adding a bit of reality into the discussion; tails tend to be mostly fur, then skin and bone, nothing much to pierce. |
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Someone, somewhere, finds EVERYTHING sexual. Cars, baseballs, power tools <like saws. Get your mind out of the gutter. I don't like the crowding...> the bible. If this offends you, you're going to spend a lot of time offended. |
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You intrepreted my annotations as being 'approving' of porn, when for the most part, they were neutral at best. Look up the history of the Beta tape format for yourself, and see why there aren't Beta home units anymore. |
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As it happens, I DO approve of pr0n. It does not hurt anyone <Aside from kiddy porn, which is an equine of an entirely different chroma>, despite all the wailing about how it 'exploits' women. <I know a lot about computers, thus I exploit my abilities and get paid for it, while my employer exploits me to get calls answered and get paid. The women have attractive bodies, and exploit this asset to make money, or for the thrill of showing themselves off.> |
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I didn't feel that 'defend(ing) the idea that tails are something other than pornographic.' was necessary, as the annotations were humorous. Not to mention the fact that humans will use ANYTHING for sex. Fingers, toes, tongues, ears, toys, fruits, vegetables, unbalanced washing machines. |
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In short <too late...> I feel you're wildly overreacting to a bit of humor to begin with, and to 'pornography = EEEEVIL!' in general. |
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Yeah, what he said - And I'm older and meaner and uglier. |
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Tails? Shoplifting! Blessing also for RSI-patients,
computer-gamers. Arresting shoplifters! (catch their tail). |
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It would be great only if you could choose what kinda tail. Just think if you got stuck (sic) with a porcupine tail. This would also have an impact on the rocking chair industry big time. It might hurt too if it got slammed in a car door, or an elevator door... any kind of door in fact...now a kangaroo tail would be cool... BOING, BOING and your at the front of the line. The uneven bars in a Gymnastics tourney would take on a whole new dimension. It might even help a drunk in walking the white line. Just think, your aunt could use a little spit on the end of her tail and wipe a bit of grime off your face. Polite people would still use a tissue after a juicy sneeze. There would be gangs of Striped tails. My cat would be jealous (he's a Manx!) |
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//now a kangaroo tail would be cool... BOING, BOING and your at the front of the line.// |
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Last time I checked, kangaroos used their legs for "boing boinging". Their tails are used to aid in balance. |
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Ok, I really think that you people watch too much Spiderman unlimited, look at what the Beastials are up to, world doination, bio-engineering not to mention the persicution of humans without tails or fur! Is this what you all want, IS IT, IS IT. |
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You do realize that to support a human's weight, they'd have to be six inches thick... |
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after reading ping's response to ejs, i want to have sex with her... yes, sex... with her... the sooner, the better... preferably, right now...
-coke |
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Wow, and I thought that the Halfbakery was above such comments as "f*** you," "...i want to have sex with her... " and the like. My respect for quite a few of you (and not just those that I quoted) has been lessened quite noticably. |
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Back to the subject, I would love to have a tail. Although it might get in the way sometimes, it would have many advantages. I want a long one with long, soft, thick fur. However, there might be a problem with shedding... |
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Guys, guys, guys...no reason to get upset. It's okay to have more than one opinion presented here. That's the fun in 1/2Bakery, right? On tails for humans: I'm a big fan of the fish-tail idea...think of how fast you could swim with such a marvelous appendage! English Channel? Pshaw! Too simple... |
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Seems to me it would be possible to surgically build a small, moveable tail from bits and pieces taken from elsewhere on one's body. It might be troublesome in some chairs and on dirty thrones in public tiled rooms, but I'd have one just so's I could wag it back at my happy dog. Might learn something from the dog with that sort of silent conversation. |
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Whew. I missed all this action. Glad I did. |
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Whew. I missed all this action. Glad I did. |
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bristolz, Nov 12 2001 |
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Yeah, me too. Well, ah, I just signed up out of pure boredom, but now I'm still bored.
I think I know how they can do the horses tails: they can easily graft hair to the end of the spinal column.
For just tails in general, I think they should take the DNA of an animal, and then maybe go from there.
Yeah, yeah, I bet my little plan has about a million mistakes-- but it's a start, right? |
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Only one big mistake. Genetic modification does not work on individuals. You cannot have your specific DNA changed. |
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And They don't 'graft hair to the spinal column'. |
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does the tail have to be organic? (sorry if any mention of this has already been made) but a little metal or wooden contraption might be useful with a battery operated motor for wagging motion. Clip it to your clothes. |
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A poor substitute, but one that thousands of furries resort to. Not wood or metal, tho... |
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(Wagging): "Hey baby, notice I'm excited?" |
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Star, will you answer him or shall I? |
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Ooh, let me:
Suitonym - Your question is answered by your need to utter it.
po - how was that? Was it clear enough? |
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I couldn't have done it better myself... |
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The count stands at 98+ for this. I must confess I remain completely baffled by the outpouring of support for this concept. I shall not fishbone, however, as I clearly do not understand enough to make a sound judgment. |
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Perhaps we can rename this idea to "Tails for Everyone except waugsqueke". |
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Think of the POINTING possibilites...Holding a map and POINT over there...holding a can of beer and a cigarette "Its over there Bud"...making love in a park and telling someone to "F##K off" |
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Various moods u could express...scared, excited, angry, horny(expressed by poking it up and thru ur legs), hey u could even scratch ur head in a comical manner:D |
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Hey! wow this is amazing! i always thought i was crazy for wanting a tail. lol guess not. I always imagined having a large thick tail. I'm a snorkler/scuba diver and thing it would be really cool to have a thick tail kinda like an aligators or an otters to help me swim at high speeds through the water or a whip like tail would be cool to. To use it to pick up things like another hand and maybe as a martial arts tool or weapon. wouldn't it be so cool!! |
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// ... one that thousands of furries resort to ... // |
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There are _thousands_ of furries? I'm not understanding what the concept of 'furry' is all about. |
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Excuse me, everyone involved in the whole furry thing, if I'm wrong about this, but I thought I'd interject. |
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Isn't there a show on M.T.V. about furries, just in case anyone is curious? From what I have seen of it, it mostly just exploits the sexual side of the whole furry business. Just thought I'd add a comment about this, as I too am somewhat bemused by the whole tail idea. |
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Tens of thousands. FurryMUCK, the largest and oldest MUCK, had eight thousand characters as of seven years ago. I haven't seen stats since...Read the first link waaay up there... |
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Pnym3: No, I didn't know that. When is it on? |
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Yick, that MTV special was just an attack piece. Hey, look at all the plushies, zoofiles and other furr-verts. Be glad you missed it. |
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Personally, I think a tail would be nice, but I'd sooner take wings or improved senses like eagle/hawk distance vision, bat's radar or canine sense of smell. I can emote well enough already (atleast in person, we are all limited in our internet emoting where tails won't help). |
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To bring up an old thread-- Yes, Porn has driven it's fair share of innovations. They were the early implementers of Real, and Quicktime products(Microsoft is again a latecomer to new markets). But the computer itself was mostly driven by the need to accurately calculate balistics for artillery. War beats porn as the overall best motivator to develop new technologies. I like war much better than porn. |
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"furr-verts"... hehe, great word. |
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One would imagine that having a canine sense of smell would make life virtually unbearable. Most cities generally smell bad enough as it is, without amplification. |
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I'd take talons, if offered. |
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Not surprised that the MTV thing was an attack piece. Most of them are. |
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You know, if you had a really fluffy tail it would require a lot of maintenance- as you'd have to brush it every day if you didn't want it to get matted up. |
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It would be nice to have a short-furred tail, though :) |
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I dunno... Positive aspects of tails: Utter coolness. Emotional expression. Outlet for furries. Sexual aspects (yes, there are some, with any part of the body. Ask a foot fetishist.) Possible use for offense. |
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Negative aspects: Chairs. Slamming doors (ouch). Stupid brats who enjoy harming people. Stigma. Toilets (how the heck do you do that with a tail? Let alone the positioning, what if it gets in the way?). Getting the danged thing to work. |
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I think I'd have to stay neutral on this. Although I would like a nice thick reptilian tail to thwock people with if I get sufficiently peeved. |
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This one just keeps coming up. |
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Why a tail, when there are so many other animal physical characteristics that would be more useful to us? Chameleon pigmentation. Cloven hooves. Ink sacs. Regenerative dentition. Dual iguana penises. |
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Prrrr... I'm furry, and I want tail, too. =^.^= (and, mind you, furry is NOT about zoophilia or whatever). So far, I have a nice leopardtail I proudly wear on weekends, but I want something more purrrrrmanent... And controllable, too... BTW, recent studies proved that the brain would accustomize to a new appendice over a rather short period of time. |
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Oh God I Want A Tail So Bad I Will Do Anthing |
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With a name like "Mephista" is she serious? sigh. no, that's not fair of me. How's this- I think about sex and literature constantly. I have always wanted a prehensile tail, but never for sexual activities- I'd think of it as sticking my foot somewhere. yuk. I would love to hold tails with my boyfriend as we walk down the street and to tease my cat with my tail. I could use my tail to direct the mouse while I'm surfing online!! yay! |
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There is a sci fi short story (forget by who, was 40 years ago) where everyone on earth is born with a tail, after a certain date. One of the consequences is that you have to sit backwards on toilets.. but they lower the tanks & make them into tables.. and people born 'pre tail' make mock tails to pretend they are younger!
I gotta say, those 'tail on a belt' things kids wear seem fun for the 4 year old set. |
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There are so many possible uses for a tail, and so many different kinds. It's hard to decide. On the one hand(or other appendage), a nice bushy squirrely one would be lovely on land, but wouldn't be any help at all in the water, too much hair. |
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Maybe big strong legs with webby toes to go with it? |
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And a side order of claws, for climbng trees and picking up nice fresh onion rings without burning my fingertips. And the human tongue is ditressingly short, what if I want gecko-style eyes with those nice clear hard covers. I'd need a longer tongue to lick them clean. |
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I'm either a furry or just plain weird. :) |
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The more well-endowed males of the planet could always just... improvise |
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instead of genetics (which allows no choice for the recipient) use (semi) existing medical technology with metal/plastic bones and muscle and skin grafts to construct a tail from scratch. nervous system would be difficult (nigh on impossible), both to make and connect. to start with they would be short, bald kangaroo/lizard-style tails, further variation would take longer to develop. |
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Hahaha... just thinking - what would all the anti-fur
activists have to say if we all had luxuriously furry tails?
Hmn. I suppose the same, huh? Never mind. |
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A tail... A tail... My kingdom for a tail |
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Im with skunkie it would be cool to have a skunk tail. so no one would mess with you |
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Also With the skunk tail i would love to have the musk gland installed so to let all you punks out there dont mess with me. Then i would like to have black fur on my back with two white stripes going down, a muzzle and paws. Then black fur on the rest of my body. Then i would be the skunk man. |
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I God had wanted us to have a tail... oh you know! |
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For over two years now, I've watched this idea bounce in and out of the recent list and I'm amazed that, in all that time, nobody has mentioned how difficult it would be to lay down in the bath if you had a tail. |
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I cannot see a problem with bathing at all [bob]. they are quite pliable after all. a prehensile tail could hold the soap - how neat would that be? |
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Quite interesting to see how the HB has evolved. An idea like this posted now would be pelted with fishbones and be mfd'ed for "Genetic Engineering Magic". One would hypothetize that as the HB population grew, and ideas of this nature became more common, genetic engineering became an annoyance and evolved into downright taboo. |
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Movie critics give this idea two tails way, way up. |
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This is a little off-topic but, Ive seen online that the human genome project is complete, so where are all the the wonderful advancements we where promised?
But back on topic, if anyone actually started using our gene info we could all probably get a tail, if we could afford it... |
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[For over two years now, I've watched this idea bounce in and out of the recent list and I'm amazed that, in all that time, nobody has mentioned how difficult it would be to lay down in the bath if you had a tail.] |
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I disagree - that would only be trouble if you based your tail on a velociraptors' tail. On the other hand, something canine/ feline/ draconic/ whatever would tend to be plenty flexible, at least (especially?) near the base of the tail. |
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My MFD got lost in the crash. But here’s another: [marked–for–deletion] genetic magic and let’s all have tails (or wings, or four stomachs, or elephant trunks). |
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[marked-for-deletion] genetics, magic etc. |
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I think I've baked the four stomachs one. |
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Yeah, MFD all you want, but there's far too much here to throw away. Also, it's not simply 'genetic magic'. There's people in the mainstream medical community (well... not sure how mainstream, but there's doctors and professors :) ) who believe that human *wings* are possible; tails should be pretty trivial using vat-grown tissue. |
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There are also people in the mainstream medical community who think the world was built in seven days by a chap with a beard... And possibly even more worrying, some that really believe that Liverpool are the best team on merseyside!
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I think we all know deep in our hearts that this is verging on magic. The reason it shouldn't be deleted is that it is a superb idea, thoroughly explored and resonant with many HBers.
This one's had the rules bent for it because it's just that good. |
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Well, that’s a matter of opinion. In any case, it was anticipated by humorist H. Allen Smith, who wrote “The Age of the Tail” some fifty years ago. |
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//Well, that's a matter of opinion//
Like pretty much everything on here, then [ldischler]? Current opinion seems to be pro-TFA in an approximate 3:1 ratio. |
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Smith also wrote such notables as “A Short History of Fingers” and “How to Write Without Knowing Nothing.” (I intend to study that latter book as soon as the library opens.) |
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I like the sound of his autobiography "To Hell in a Handbasket" and an article he wrote called "Nobody knows more about Chilli than I do". Thanks for the tip. |
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//I think we all know deep in our hearts that this is verging on magic// |
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Erhm... *medical technology* is what's verging on magic, in all honesty. Wired News just today had an article that rased the prospect of genetically engineered cells that turn into stem cells without going through the embryo phase, and using these to grow *replacement parts* for *people*. |
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Just trying to keep this in perspective. |
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if everyone had a tail, the world would be a better place. if i had a foxes tail, my world would be better. although, the people at my job would look at me funny. |
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a prehensile fox tail would be so choice. |
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that would be so flippin' sweet! yessssss... |
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Degenerates. All of you. Look at me, instead, with my pretty snake in place of a tail. With head and all. That's normality for you. Foxe's tails, ugh!. |
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//There are also people in the mainstream medical community who think the world was built in seven days by a chap with a beard... // |
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Not seven literal days, and not even a literal beard. That's merely the stereotype. I hear people are finding interpretations that actually agree with modern scientists' beliefs.... |
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Now back on topic, I made a post here a long time ago, which got deleted in that October crash. I'll try to go over it again, but better and more rationally than before. |
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Now it's not easy to be un-biased about it, being semi-furry myself. I do feel much like Blue Fox, though to a lesser extent, and with strong feelings that this is quite an eccentric idea. And yet... //Movie critics give this idea two tails way, way up.// ...how much I'd like to be able to hold two up.... |
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//... let's all get tails so we have one more thing to judge eachother by... //, //My tail is bigger than yours//, etc. |
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As we actually get to -choose-
the qualities of this appendage, I don't see how that makes this different from any other bodily decoration (like big earrings or long hair). |
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//One of the special interest groups at furry conventions is often Furgonomics. Where does one put the tail or wings...// |
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I find it quite fascinating myself. I haven't thought about it all that frequently, but surely new clothing designs can evolve if any popularity ever arose for this new appendage. |
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//Do people fidget with their hands and fingers because we no longer have a tail to wag? Just thinking...// |
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Good thinking indeed. Is it not true that you'd expect nervous animals to have fidgety tail movements, and not paw movements? |
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I've wanted a tail ever since I watched Jumanji as a kid. |
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would love a tail wrapped round me... |
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Ahhh, wouldn't it be nice if... oh wait, that's like a no-no right. WIBNI. |
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I'm not reading these annos so maybe this has been covered, but I'm ashamed that this idea is the second highest rated idea on the website. That is simply shameful. |
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does "Best" only come up when you annotate? or is it just me? I thought it was an option lost. |
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Not really sure. All I know is that I've never understood why this was so highly rated. |
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(Walks away with furry tail between legs, head downcast, ashamed, and humiliated, thinking "let's all".) |
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My [+] is still there after the crash, nailed to the masthead. And there it stays. |
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Hey, it's a great idea, so bun bun bun away, and what's wrong with the 57 people who don't like the idea of a tail? One of lifes mysteries. |
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This could create more ways of 'bonding' with people, like instead of holding hands, the more discreet holding tails... I'm kidding. |
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Let's all... make this the first idea to go from +100 to -100. |
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hey froglet, a tv prog I saw tonight, saw you making friends with toads - if you get my meaning... |
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[froglet] I think the majority of the 58 dissenters object to the way this idea has had the rules bent for it, not to the concept of having tails. Read the annos (if you can be bothered) for the cut and thrust. |
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This is easy to bake. Find people with tails and have sex with them. |
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This idea is old, has a lot of commentary and history and is on the halfbakery T-shirts and other printed items so it is difficult for me or other moderators to hit the delete button. It's sort of been painted into place. |
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But think of how valuable those shirts would be if you did hit the delete. So go ahead bris, hit it! |
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I want a tail with short, warm fur that I can wrap around myself to keep me warm. |
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I love [disbomber]'s way of baking this. I can't believe nobody thought of it before. |
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This has so much wrong with it that it is unreal. Let's all, magic, WIBNI, WTCTTISITMWIBNIIWR. Actually, come to think of it, this is probably as close as anyone has ever gotten to completely contradicting the help file, and gotten away with it. |
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I quite like that the second most popular idea on the site also has the second most fishbones. |
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When was magic added to the MFD help file? Does this idea pre-date that? (not that it's an excuse for leaving this alone, as you don't really need one) |
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There are plenty of even worse ideas that get by, but no one puts a label on them. Anyway, the bakery’s all in fun...right?
<A suspicion: one or more of the moderators are monkeys.> |
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Moderation evolves and has its mutations, too. |
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Everything in moderation, moderation included. |
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Seems like a couple other people got in before me, but what the hey... |
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At first I found this amusing. |
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Now I've read it all, I think it'd be a great idea!
(prehensile) tails for all! |
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If you consider that embryos have a tail at some point and that tails are in our genetic history we are actually quite close to being able to make this a reality IMHO. |
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I was having a discussion with friends about technology and asked "If you could have any technological or genetic physical enhancement, what would it be". Tails were not mentioned, but wings were. |
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I believe that within my lifetime, having a fully functional tail will be an option. |
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edit: and it's not only the porn industry that srurs invention, the military do too. I think they'd find the idea of a usable tail interesting. |
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//the military do too. I think they'd find the idea of a usable tail interesting// - What makes you think that? |
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They find uses for everyting. |
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//the military do too. I think they'd find the idea of a usable tail interesting// |
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If the tail was quite dextrous, if could be use to help operate a weapon or military vehicle .. ? |
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Just saw this in the Simpsons: where Bart gets to look at his future teenage years. A lady comes out of some kind of cosmetic surgery storefront, looking quite normal until she turns around. |
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what about a screw on tail with a metal plate, kinda like the screw in mohawk peircings some have, placed in the lower back, probobly attatched to the pelvic bone. There would be small electrode pads placed over, or electrodes grafted into the muscles of your butt, that would make the tail move kinda like prosthetics that can open and close the hands with movements of the chest muscles. The tail would probobly have to be made of superlight materials so it wouldnt seriously screw up your posture.. |
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also.. as far as military applications.. the tail could easily be a camera like device, a seperate gun(probobly have to be reinforced for recoil), or even have detatchable segments that fall off and detonate after a few seconds for cover during retreat... maybe a grappling hook .. hah... |
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//Just saw this in the Simpsons: where Bart gets to look at his future teenage years. A lady comes out of some kind of cosmetic surgery storefront, looking quite normal until she turns around.// |
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I saw that one too. Funny thing is that I could have sworn that in at least one episode I've seen signs on the shops that look very similar to halfbakery ideas. I saw one which was about getting tails put on. |
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Of course, there are loads of Simpsons episodes, and I've see pretty much all of them, so I don't have any evidence. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that either there is a halfbaker or somebody who frequents the Halfbakery who happens to work on background design for The Simpsons. No, I can't substantiate this claim, but oh well. |
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is ther no new info on the subject??? |
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well with 202 +'s after 9 years I'm guessing the whimsy content more than makes up for the lack of science-content. Perhaps a review of what constitues "magic" and "bad science" and WIBNI mfd's since some posts clearly override them. |
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I don't want a tail. How will I sit on the subway? |
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// I know, loophole, right?
Usually, I'd ignore that. We don't normally grandfather in old ideas. This one I'm holding back on because it's on the halfbakery t-shirt and I'm a sentimental fool. |
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Yeah I wasn't really suggesting an MFD, I personally think that the number of votes should veto any MFD. The mob has spoken after all. |
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so... you don't want a tail ? |
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yes of course most chairs, etc. would have to be redesigned a bit and there would be structural challenges if one were to opt for a power or gross-balance type tail (kangaroo or something sufficient to hang from a tree by) and of course having a default posture of standing upright presents challenges in itself, but still...... |
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gunna have mine steel-tipped and learn how to crack the whip with it. |
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"The possibilities are vast." |
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Having waited 9 years now to read this in 2009, i was going to say that in the spirit of the site, the possibilities are half-vast. |
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But I decided that I should see if anyone else had already said it. |
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I didn't read all of the hundreds of posts. So it still seems that I can say it, but it is really not true at all! |
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//the possibilities are half-vast.// |
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There's a tag-line waiting to get out, there. |
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Well.. 9 years on since I posted this, and progress has been slow. I'm pleased to see it's still drawing comment though. The genetics chaps have obviously been concentrating on more worthy endeavours, like mice that glow in the dark. Anyway, what's all this about a tee-shirt, Jutta? Do featured contributors get a free one? |
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I suppose your tail would be rather scaley!? |
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> What's this about a tee-shirt?
There's a halfbakery t-shirt (since 2002 or so); see link. Most sizes are gone by now, though. On the back, there are little illustrations of the ten most popular ideas, and this is one of them, in spite of the pretty obvious "using GM as magic" marked-for-deletion tag. |
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And yes, there still are pencils. |
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[Jutta] Are there still pencils? Every now and again I've looked at that page and assumed that you must surely be out of them. |
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I still have my pencils, and my tee shirt. And I still
love this idea because it used to drive [waugsqueke]
crazy. "NOT an invention", he would screech. |
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//And yes, there still are pencils.//
<scrabbles around for a pen and some stamps> Woo! </scrabbles around for a pen and some stamps> |
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We should not be too hasty to brand stuff as 'Magic'. Todays magic is tomorrow's everyday technology. And as Arthur C Clarke said: "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" |
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When Francis Collins was on the Colbert Report, Colbert asked him if our new knowledge of the human genome could outfit him with a pair of lobster claws. Collins did not, in so many words, deny that it could be done. |
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Finally, finally baked. I was browsing the web, looking for something completely different, when I came upon a "furry hypnosis" website containing files meant to cause the user to have full-sensory hallucinations of fur, pawpads... and tails. |
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I can speak from personal experience that they work. It is but a pale imitation of true bakage, but it will do until genetic research can provide. |
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This idea is much like Jesus Christ. |
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//This idea is much like Jesus Christ//
Jewish?
Offspring of blue-collar worker?
Iron Age? |
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Misunderstood?
Unappreciated?
Furry Bearded?
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//This idea is much like Jesus Christ// |
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Edit: ... despite being decried as magic and as irrelevant to modern society. |
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Re: the drawbacks of tails - I am equipped with a frontal tail of sorts and still manage to wear clothes and sit on chairs. Cats and dogs also seem to be able to manage sitting without difficulty, so I fail to see how it would be a problem unless you put the tail where your anus is. (sorry for the mental imagery). |
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Re: magic - this is clearly a possibility in varied forms. A simple detachable tail that sways gaily back and forth as you walk would be easy. Prosthetic limbs/ears/eyes are all somewhat developed, so a tail would be of similar complexity, although it may have to share motor control with another area, eyebrows would be best I think, both for how your tail moved when you were surprised/cross and the look on your face when your tail holds a mug of coffee. |
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I've always wondered why this Idea was never given an MFD due to "Let's All" --it says "All" right there in the title, after all. (Not that I'm going to do that, but am still wondering.) |
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I believe it was grandfathered in as predating that rule. |
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I'm keeping this one around because it's on the original halfbakery t-shirt. (There is no "grandfathering" and "predating" and all that.)
The idea has been, correctly, marked for deletion many times over. |
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and I almost posted the same anno I did last year about this time. |
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Sick, Dr.Bob, just plain old sick. Bleh... |
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So which one will you be buying then, blissy? |
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So, listen to Jay Mohr doing Walken wishing he had a
tail. No doubt, he's a baker. |
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Ha jutta's link bakes this. Too funny. |
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