h a l f b a k e r yQuis custodiet the custard?
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Suggested by [link].
Given that modern electronics are so jolly compact and
solid-state, it is somewhat surprising that nobody has yet
launched a swallowable MP3 player. After all, if you can
swallow a camera for internal diagnostics, this shouldn't
be
so hard to implement.
The content
and playing order would be uploaded
wirelessly before swallowing. After that, the twists and
turns of your intestines would be traced out by the
muffled
music emerging from various points on your body. Of
course, if the thing lodges in your appendix, the fun
might
wear off before the batteries do.
Why, I hear you ask, would this be a good idea? Well, I
didn't actually say it would be a good idea, but it would
be
interesting. Brass band music, for instance, could
replace
the normal borborygmi.
There is also the opportunity to use such a device
mischievously, if it were small enough to slip into
someone's food without their knowledge, or to put into a
gel capsule masquerading as their regular
medication.
In this case, one could upload not music but, rather, a
series of unexpected and disturbing phrases which the
unwitting swallower would hear, mysteriously and
ventriloqually, over the next few hours. If you timed it
just right, the last words heard would be "For gods' sake
don't flush the... aaargh!"
Ingested by:
Infinite_20Crunchy_20Gum
[MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2014]
Fred the oyster?
http://en.wikipedia...er_sound_effect.ogg
Er? ... bleepily dweedilly tweeeeeee ... Uh? ... oh ... Ah! Fred the Oyster! [skoomphemph, Apr 18 2014]
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Annotation:
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//a series of unexpected and disturbing phrases which the unwitting
swallower would hear, mysteriously and ventriloqually, over the next
few hours. // |
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<sound of donkey braying> |
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Tapeworm-like attachment things would be apposite and of great approbion (perhaps similar to the bolts that shoot into the cheeks when one eats a Chocolate Surprise). |
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Likewise, an environmentally friendly battery, exploiting the potential difference between the stomach and intestines would allow for some amplification. |
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Alternatively a bubble of hydrogen could be generated in situ, and then be shipped down through the caverns of alimentation, to ultimately aid in the eventual production of a high pitched fart. |
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If you feel in need of new words, you should leave it
to the more preterlexial bakers here. |
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Perhaps this is sagely dictum quod dictatariari erat, and I should at some later conjuncture convolve upon my edit button to devolve upon the said mot mauvais to persuade the latter over toward an alternate expression. "Approbion" lacks a certain dictionarious exonneration and a spelling, and ought, perhaps, thereover, to be displaced from its current location. |
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This paragraph's nearest neighbour probably also needs the brushcutter through the verbiage. |
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I'm thinking of instead saying "zweee!! ..rrrt. .blardleblardle .. tweedly" etc. ; but who remembers modems, after all? |
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Hmm... Sound quality through all the meat? |
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[+] esp. for the creepy use cases. |
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"... Stop ... touching ... yourself ...Max... " |
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Could spawn a new market for detectors of said
devices. |
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//Well, I didn't actually say it would be a good idea, but it would be interesting.// |
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I'm thinking a series of LOUD selections from Yoko Ono would do the trick... [+] |
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If people can swallow a robot camera that takes
pictures of the innards, this should be easy peasy. |
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One could have it recite language tapes for
languages you hope to learn. Given that the output
will probably be much easier for you to hear than
anyone else, you can at least repeat what the
swallowed machine is reciting if you have not
learned it yet. |
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