Stealth Headphones

I'm on hiatus from college and working various odd jobs. My last one was at a movie theater. For six hours a day I'd stand behind the concession counter (or rip tickets in the hallway). During the early hours of the day, the theater would be almost completely empty, and I'd just...stand there. For hours. If I could find a pen, I'd doodle on napkins, but that was rare.

It occured to me that bringing my portable CD/MP3 player would be a godsend -- the headphones wouldn't hinder my counter-cleaning or ticket-ripping duties, and on those occaisons in which I needed to hear what people were saying (I asked, "Sorry, was that a large popcorn or a medium?" often enough as it was) I could simply turn the volume down. There was only one problem: I wasn't allowed to bring headphones. Customers seeing me without headphones was more important to the managers than me not spending my days in torturous boredom.

Currently I'm employed in a somewhat better temp job, which pays somewhat more (and allows me to post ideas on the Halfbakery when I should be working), but it still consists mostly of rote work not requiring human contact or conversation, and I'm still not allowed to wear headphones.

Enter: the Stealth Headphone.

Phase one, possible with today's technology: The speaker looks like a hearing aid (it's subtle; most people will be too polite to even mention it). It communicates wirelessly with the radio/CD/MP3 player in your pocket.

Phase two, possible in a few years: The speakers (one for each ear) are thin transparent plastic-esque slips (maybe not completely transparent, though that would be cool) that are sticky on one side; you stick them on the back of your ear (speakers directed through the skin, perhaps, though of course there'd be a volume limit) or in your ear canal. Or maybe your ear *becomes* the speaker, pulsated by the plastic circle. Again, they communicate wirelessly -- both with each other and with a tiny controller that sticks to the bottom of your pocket and allows you to select songs, change volume, etc., with a single discrete finger. The controller either contains the songs itself, in its memory, or is wirelessly networked with your home computer and recieves its songs from there (or it has a wireless internet link, allowing you to stream music that you've subscibed to (or for free, a la Napster).

Phase 3, possible in a decade or two: The speakers are a transparent paste with constituent units about the size of white blood cells. Smear a bit in your ears and they self-organize into a nice acoustic configuration. The controller is tiny, transparent, and attatched to one of your fingers; tap on the counter in various patterns to change volume, switch songs, etc. (morse code? too complex, probably, but something could be devised). Alternately, if the controller is better at sensing where your finger is based on inertia, the countertop could become the control board -- assign various tabletop features as the virtual volume control, track switcher, etc., when you first turn on the system; and then just slide your finger to the left over the ancient Coke stain (for example) to turn down the sound.

Phase 4: A neural implant. Scary, somewhat dangerous, utterly unnecessary, but very, very cool. You hallucinate music. Just think the volume up or down.