h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Divorce and separation are culturally recent phenomena (in regards acceptability and accomodation). The most convenient way that both parents with non-communal living arrangements can continue to be involved with the children, without being involved with each other, is to have the kid(s) shuttle back
and forth between the weekday parent and the weekend parent. That's the easy solution, for the adults.
Posited is that a more mature society will have the children stay in one domicile full-time and have the parents do the shuttling back and forth.
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Annotation:
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Shades of the radio show Genius, where one guy, separated and living far from his teenage daughter suggested fathers save petrol by swapping their teenage daughters to get someone nearer. The host asked pointedly "You're divorced, aren't you? Hmmm..." |
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In terms of "childhood experiences", staying in the same place is less
educational than moving about. |
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What about step-family members? I.e., step-mom/dad and step siblings. Blended families would be impossible. |
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I'm not advocating this as the only option, just one that may make more sense for many situations. |
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As a weekend / weekday swapped child, I'd be willing
to bet there is no good solution. Moving about back
and forth again has its extreme detriments. I never
bothered to plan for my weekend, because the other
household always had whatever plans already. I
missed outings with friends, bouncing between
towns. I lived out of a suitcase or two and whatever
didn't fit in that suitcase got effectively pushed out
of my life. |
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Only if it was a playhouse and the parents had to
listen to the kids, sit on tiny plastic chairs, cook in
the Easy-Bake oven and not bring their girlfriends /
boyfriends over. |
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Most fights I have with the spouse are over how we
keep up (or fail to keep up) the living space.
"Where'd you put my xyz!" |
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So, I think having them share the same space after
separation would just reignite the cause of the
separation, & the kids would just witness the fights
again. |
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(That said, I'm still happily married. And, this
discussion reminds me yet again, how anyone who
wants to "preserve marriage" should stop worrying
about gays & do something about the rampant
divorce in our culture.) |
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