Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Spray-on clothes

Saves on closet space
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You step fully naked into a small booth and dozens of small jets coat your body with a quick drying waterproof dye. (similar to those instant tan booths)

The jets move around and spray different colours so as to create any pattern desired.

The result is realistic skintight clothing.

The jets could also dispense denim or cotton fibers to create a realistic texture, possibly warm enough in colder climates.

Different patterns can be downloaded or created with the provided software.

Trimoor, Oct 21 2004

my car could do with a respray come to think of it. http://www.cybercom...csai/bodypaint.html
[po, Oct 21 2004]

Spray on Bed Clothes http://www.halfbake...0on_20Bed_20Clothes
[Shz, Oct 21 2004]

Latex Bodysuit http://www.maximum-impact.com/appl05.htm
Not quite spray-on, not quite instant, but quite fetching. [egads, Oct 22 2004]

(?) Painted on http://home.bham.rr...paintedclothes1.JPG
I think that's the Strøget. (NSFW!) [bristolz, Oct 22 2004]

Pubic hair? No problem! http://www.halfbake...ar_20shaving_20cage
Ahhh, the beauty that underlies the interconnectedness of all things halfbaked... [Ichthus, Oct 22 2004]

Electrostatic flocking - how does it work? http://www.infind.com.au/coatings6.html
[hippo, Oct 22 2004]

Flocking machinery http://www.flocking.biz/
[hippo, Oct 22 2004]

what bris said... http://www.snopes.c.../films/goldfing.htm
[po, Oct 22 2004]

Spray on Stockings http://abclocal.go....04_cr_stocking.html
[trekbody, Oct 22 2004]

Have suit, will travel http://www.space.co...vations_050126.html
spray on space suits research [theircompetitor, Feb 06 2005]

Spray on clothes http://www.fabricanltd.com/
[theircompetitor, Jun 04 2013]

[link]






       glamour models have done this surely?
po, Oct 21 2004
  

       Some have them on both their upper and lower chins.
FarmerJohn, Oct 21 2004
  

       baked. people have been painting themselves since...oh... at least last Thursday.
etherman, Oct 21 2004
  

       Perhaps stepping into the booth in one's underwear might be more workable (and legal).
david_scothern, Oct 21 2004
  

       perhaps thats how superman did it.
po, Oct 21 2004
  

       it's illegal to be naked... none of my students mentioned anything about this. hmmmm
etherman, Oct 21 2004
  

       Not necessarily naked, since you can have "denim" dispensed directly on your body. (How he does that is a bit mysterious.) Anyway, it's an updated version of tar and feathering.
ldischler, Oct 21 2004
  

       Your students were probably too shocked to say anything, [etherman].
Machiavelli, Oct 21 2004
  

       I think you would get very hot very quickly if there was no potential space between your skin and the clothes. The spray would have to adhere to the skin while it was drying, then cease to be adhesive. Also, how would you avoid an all-over body wax effect, where all the pubic hair got torn off in one go? Maybe dissolve the layer afterwards?
How would you go to the toilet?
nineteenthly, Oct 21 2004
  

       >hot very quickly   

       Yes, remember the Bond flick "Goldfinger?" Girl dies due to overheating from being painted gold all over. Rumor has it that a space left unpainted on the small of the back is sufficient to prevent this.
csea, Oct 22 2004
  

       I don't think it's overheating that killed the Bond Girl. It's something to do with the metals in the paint.
5th Earth, Oct 22 2004
  

       No one died. That's an urban legend.
bristolz, Oct 22 2004
  

       Denim or denim-like coatings could be done with a flocking machine (see links). The downside would be having to electrostatically charge your body before the coating is applied. The upside is that getting the electrostatic charge might be an excuse for a large Van der Graaf generator.
hippo, Oct 22 2004
  

       ...if excuse were needed.
angel, Oct 22 2004
  

       Furry patch? What's wrong with that! Nipples can pass for buttons and the, um, furry patch down under could pass as part of the design.   

       Maybe the spray should mix really small particles of cotton/nylon/some fabric with the paint so that the clothes sprayed on someone actually have a texture other than skin.
Pericles, Oct 22 2004
  

       That's what 'flocking' is - see my links.
hippo, Oct 22 2004
  

       //Denim or denim-like coatings could be done with a flocking machine (see links).// Nah. What you get is velvet. The George Costanza dream coat.
ldischler, Oct 22 2004
  

       I thought she asphixiated in the Bond film? This is in Futurama. WTCTTISIFWIBCIIWR.
harderthanjesus, Oct 23 2004
  
      
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