h a l f b a k e r yViva los semi-panaderos!
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Pre seasoned, totally quality good furniture parts that
are are made from wood that comes from renewable
forests and also non renewable forest, and it shot
together at the push of a button so it looks like an
explosion in reverse then is given to rich people but also
to poor people but not
to poor people or rich people
either.
(old idea for comparison)
Based on those tree strippers that cut down a tree and
strip it
of its branches and bark in seconds, these would form
them
into furniture parts as well.
Once the various pieces of the furniture are formed,
they
are
shot together to form the final piece of furniture held
together by
tapered
peg in hole construction, secured by the force of the
ballistic
cannon / cutter / shaper things.
Picture a video of a piece of furniture blowing up in
reverse.
Plus it kills ten trees for every one it makes
into a credenza, which is then given to the rich.
Based on these, they form the furniture parts, then several of these shoot the parts together.
https://www.youtube...watch?v=TMgQtFrQiGo
From trees to coffee tables in seconds. [doctorremulac3, Oct 25 2020]
Hydroforming
https://www.youtube...watch?v=fOkCKOWpUr0
Pretty interesting. Basically blowing up a balloon in a mold, only it's steel and using water instead of air. [doctorremulac3, Nov 01 2020]
[link]
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That machine is like something from Avator,
tearing down the forests of the world to make
coffee tables. |
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It's going to be totally unseasoned timber. Put it in a building and it will dry out, warp and crack - even without heating. |
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The pegs will be very prone to shrinkage because of their relatively small size and therefore higher surface area/volume ratio. They'll work lose and fall out. |
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If you're going to do this, you're going to have to log the trees, then put them aside for a long time to lose moisture. |
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But this isn't something to tear down forests to make
coffee
tables... oh wait... Never mind. |
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OK, addendum: for every tree this coffee table machine
cuts
down, it plants... 5, no 10. |
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As far as the furniture not holding together, yea, hmm. |
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Maybe I shuld just concentrate on the reverse explosion
construction method. That's the zinger to this anyway. Go
to the store, pick something from the catalog, push the
button and BAM! Credenza. Whatever that is. |
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// And the furniture goes to the poor. // |
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Good plan; there are always more poor people than wealthy ones. You can simply deduct the payments from any social security benefits they receive. |
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// Credenza. Whatever that is // |
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It's a dance, isn't it ? A bit like flamingo ? They bang those Costa nuts things together, and make clicking noises, and stamp their feet (First class or second class postage isn't specified) and shout "Oily !" |
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[marked-for-tagline] BAM! Credenza. Whatever that is. |
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//it plants ten trees for every one it cuts down. And the furniture goes to the poor.// |
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Well, it's not like rich folk are going to want furniture made with unseasoned timber and having a very rough surface finish, that's quite literally thrown together ... |
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//it plants ten trees for every one it cuts down. And the
furniture goes to the poor.// |
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OK, I've changed it. It kills ten trees for every one it makes
into a credenza, which is then given to the rich. |
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// It kills ten trees for every one it makes into a credenza, which is then given to the rich.// |
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Now that's more like it. Those poor people need to stop whining and dig into their trust funds. |
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So, this would make poor-quality, unseasoned-wood
furniture in the middle of a tree plantation. I
imagine that one of the many reasons why this is not
already done is that it's easier to transport tree
trunks than a big pile of furniture. |
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Not necessarily; after all, the process removes all the bits of tree that aren't furniture, so you're only transporting the essential parts. |
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The real problem as you have noted is that it's // poor-quality, unseasoned-wood furniture // which means that the product is worth very little more than the source material, and you still have the fixed and variable costs of manufacturing to pay. Truly halfbaked; although taxing the poor in return for giving them rubbish chairs they don't actually want will be a valuable lesson in economics for them. |
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In the C19th, one way in which an author could quickly establish
a character as poor, without writing "they were poor", was to seat
them at a "deal table". "Deal", in this sense, meant softwood,
easily shaped and probably not seasoned. |
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This idea allows us to update the trope by seating a poor
character at an explosively-formed particle board table. |
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Somehow I feel partially to blame for this idea
being so
dumb. |
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The interesting part is the stuff shooting together,
so it should actually be: |
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"Pre seasoned, totally quality good furniture parts
that are are made from wood that comes from
renewable forests and also non renewable forest,
and it shot together at the push of a button so it
looks like an explosion in reverse then is given to
rich people but also to poor people but not to poor
people or rich people." |
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It looks to me like that timber stripper, with some rotating lathe cutting tooling, could produce small round side tables on it's own. |
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Wasn't there a cartoon where some big log cutting machine
would take a whole tree and whittle it down to a toothpick? |
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^Got to have pay back, to make more toothpicks. |
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[Dr. R. Emulac III] There was the bowling alley in
The Simpsons where every bowling pin was
whittled down from a tree trunk, used once, and
then thrown away |
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Like hydroforming, but in reverse?
Suction forming? |
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Except using only velocity, just shooting the parts together.
Tricky but doable but practical only for putting on a show. |
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Just learned about hydroforming from your note by the way,
very cool,
thanks. (link) |
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