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Ever needed to get to the bar for more beer but found yourself hindered by deathly nausea due to a seemingly unstoppable and rapidly spinning room? Yes? Then this is the product for you.
The portable (and wonderfully comfortable) SoberStool senses levels of drunkenness via wireless electrodes taped
behind the ears. If the room suddenly appears to be spinning clockwise at 3.6 miles per hour, the SoberStool will detect your discomfort and start spinning in the same direction and at exactly the same speed thus cancelling out any perceived movement!
Upholstered in a choice of red velvet or green leather.
Folds down to the size of a matchbox.
[link]
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I personally enjoy the spinning room effect. But then again, if you're listening to me, then you may have problems reaching far beyond alcoholism. |
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red or green? you are pushing our credibility just a wee too far. |
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Red stool? Youd better get your ass to a proctologist, posthaste. |
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this, unfortunately, would not work. i have tried to spin to conteract my head making the room spin. but real movement and false movement are really two different things. so therefore it would just be spining differently and your eyes start to cross. It is not so much fun. |
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And there was me thinking that alcohol had actually corroded the foundations of the pub I was drinking in and caused it to spin wildly out of control as I sat motionless and bewildered. |
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You think that by spinning drunk people can prevent them from puking? I'd puke just to spite the stool. |
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At the very least, the cenrifugal force would hurl any accidental emmission of chunder outwards and away from any smart garments one may be wearing (and possibly onto the laps of anyone situated nearby, but that's another story). A failsafe mechanism that I hadn't even thought of! |
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and besides, how would it detect which direction you thought you were spinning in? |
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hey i don't know about this, but do anti-seasickness bracelets work for drunkenness? |
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If the machine senses that you're starting to puke, it should accelerate you rapidly forward, so that the material doesn't exit your body. |
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