Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Shower Noose

To help prevent falls while showering
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The Shower Noose from BorgCo consists of a sturdy ceiling-fitted ring, a spring clip, and a length of waterproof rope made into a free-running noose.

This is a pretty standard-looking noose that mostly older people can use, except it is waterproof, so it can be fixed into the shower space (or even a bathtub, if it has a shower).

Obviously, it gives the person taking the shower something to hold them up if they slip, to help prevent a fall.

Ideal for children.

8th of 7, Dec 11 2010

Waterproof Walker Waterproof_20Walker
Original idea [8th of 7, Dec 11 2010]

What men are shaped like http://media.photob...lloween_costume.jpg
Yes, all of them. [doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010]

[link]






       The only thing is, maybe it's just my depressive tendency, but wouldn't this tempt people to commit suicide or engage in erotic asphyxiation unsupervised in the shower? It seems to me that a potentially suicidal person would find it hard to summon up the effort to improvise a noose, and that accidie might sometimes be enough to stop them doing themselves in. If there's one readily available in the shower, it would make it easier for them. I'm all for choice in this area but might they not do something they wouldn't regret?
nineteenthly, Dec 11 2010
  

       // might they not do something they wouldn't regret? //   

       Beautifully phrased.   

       Possibly, you are correct; but this is essentially a safety device. The manufacturers cannot be held responsible if purchasers misuse it.
8th of 7, Dec 11 2010
  

       //manufacturers cannot be held responsible// That's why only BorgCo can market this. Who else is incorporated in an extraterrestrial jurisdiction?
mouseposture, Dec 11 2010
  

       This would go well with an electric toilet. After you use it, flip the switch and it's electrified with 2,000 volts to clean and sanitize it.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       Wow, [8th], the lawyer in me thinks you may have actually trod on one of the MFD clauses, but I'm not the one to call it. If at a later time you want to contract me to defend you against the charge, I'd be interested in arguing the case.
normzone, Dec 11 2010
  

       Any inference that the preceding design is meant in any way to be used to cause bodily injury is purely due to the reader's own embellishment. Mr 7 does not suggest, nor does he condone... etc.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       Er, just make the hole smaller than a human head?   

       On the other hand, if you start designing the world to make it suicide-proof, you might just as well ban over-the-counter sales of high explosives.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 11 2010
  

       I'm warming to the idea of a lethal bathroom, where you can kill yourself a myriad different ways.
nineteenthly, Dec 11 2010
  

       Already baked. 76.04% of deaths occur in the home and a further 84.6% of those deaths occur due to accidents in the bathroom. These statistics are confirmed and completely factual because I got them from the internet.   

       1- Slips in the shower, 2- Drownings in the tub, 3- Choking on the faucet, 4- Medicine cabinet door concussions to name a few.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       Choking on the faucet??
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 11 2010
  

       The internet doesn't lie.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       So these people are not in possession of tin baths and have no outside loo? Southern jessies! Clearly very flimsy.
nineteenthly, Dec 11 2010
  

       // The internet doesn't lie. //   

       Nice one, Centurion ! You should use that at your committal hearing ...
8th of 7, Dec 11 2010
  

       Centurions, aren't those the guys with their pictures on the condom packages?*   

       *(Might be an American reference. If so, please ignore.*)   

       *(Please ignore anyway)
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       (Duly ignored, as requested)
8th of 7, Dec 11 2010
  

       [doc], number 4 is not lethal, I do it all the time. That and hair curler burns, ouucccchhiiiieeeee!
blissmiss, Dec 11 2010
  

       Clearly, you're using the wrong sort of medicine cabinet.
8th of 7, Dec 11 2010
  

       That's why women are beautiful and men aren't. We wash, scrape a razor across our face and call it a day.   

       Unless it's the weekend and a game's on. Then we're good to go as is.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       Woken are more beautiful than men because the adjectI've "beautiful" pretty much applies only to women. Men are handsome.
DrWorm, Dec 11 2010
  

       Well, let me put it this way. Women are shaped like Ferrarris with smooth round curves while men are shaped like a toaster.   

       See link. It's subtle, but if you squint your eyes you can see what I mean.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       // applies only to women //   

       ... which tells you pretty much all you need to know about Johnny Depp and David Beckham ...
8th of 7, Dec 11 2010
  

       I don't think Ms Depp would appreciate you inferring she's a man.
doctorremulac3, Dec 11 2010
  

       //inferring// Kudos [R3MD] A rather subtle pedant-trap.
mouseposture, Dec 11 2010
  

       //A rather subtle pedant-trap.// - [mouseposture]   

       //The internet doesn't lie.// - [doctorremulac3]   

       [marked-for-tagline]
spidermother, Dec 12 2010
  

       //Choking on the faucet?//   

       The mind boggles...First of all being stupid enough to deep throat a faucet, then being even more stupid to turn it on. Or am I missing something here? I didn't know brushing you teeth was so frought with danger.   

       Anyway, if this was a vocation, then a full safety harness would be obligatory, with hook into a rail system around the bathroom ceiling; Safety glasses to protect from splashing chemicals; gloves; safety hat; anti-slip shoes, and permit to work.
Ling, Dec 12 2010
  

       One of the nice things about cut throat razors is that you can quite easily kill yourself by accident with them, so there's a precedent for this.
nineteenthly, Dec 12 2010
  

       //Er, just make the hole smaller than a human head? // Child or pet size perhaps? Disgruntled partners might shower the bunny.   

       This seems a bit like encoraging people to drive carefully by fixing a large spike in the centre of their steering wheel (which would only be there for safety, perhaps the safety of others).
saedi, Dec 12 2010
  

       // a large spike //   

       We are unable to understand why such a design has not been immediately and universally adopted.
8th of 7, Dec 12 2010
  

       // The manufacturers cannot be held responsible if purchasers misuse it. //   

       Luckily this is not actual design practice.
RayfordSteele, Dec 12 2010
  

       How does one bend down to pick up the soap then? It seems like you might also need to implement a soap noose too.
quantum_flux, Dec 13 2010
  

       Obviously, the soap-on-a-rope designers were ahead of their time.
The new noose design might be called: dope-on-a-rope?
Ling, Dec 13 2010
  

       It used to be possible to buy a shower collar, which looped around the neck and delivered water via a set of nozzles running along the length of the pipe. I will tried to find a pic.
xenzag, Dec 13 2010
  

       What does that tense imply exactly, [xenzag]?
nineteenthly, Dec 13 2010
  

       //Women are shaped like Ferrarris //

I can see how you would think that. It's the wheels isn't it?
DrBob, Dec 13 2010
  

       Have you made one for your cat yet?
xandram, Dec 13 2010
  

       I misread this as "shower nose". I envisioned a ceramic tile sculpture filling the bathroom wall. The mouth was lolling open, with a big soft red towel stored inside. You stood beneath a giant pair of nostrils which spewed warm water over you. Huge goggle eyes mounted above followed your every movement.
pocmloc, Dec 13 2010
  

       You really should lay off that stuff (whatever it is), [pomloc], it's not doing you any good. to be honest, sounds like [bungston]'s funny mushroom soup again. Pretty soon it'll be the monsters coming through the walls, and street furniture that talks to you.   

       There's help available, OK ? You just have to admit you've got a problem.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2010
  

       [8th of 7], And just what, may I inquire, is "street furniture"? I have never heard of it, or been spoken to by it, I think.
blissmiss, Dec 13 2010
  

       When people get a new sofa or fridge, they leave the old one outside their house on the pavement, for the bin men to take away.
pocmloc, Dec 13 2010
  

       // I have never heard of it //   

       "Street furniture" is the correct techincal term fo signage, lamp posts, signposts, trash cans etc. with which local authorities delight in bestrewing through the urban environment.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2010
  

       See I think we have a differing outlook on what street furniture really is. Is it there by choice, or chance? Is it legal stuff, or illegal junk? I wonder.
blissmiss, Dec 13 2010
  

       Street furniture is the latest approach to the bedbug epidemic. Instead of upholstery, it's got asphalt.
mouseposture, Dec 14 2010
  
      
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