h a l f b a k e r yGetting blown into traffic is never fun.
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Many animals can hear through the ground. Elephants, it has been said, can listen through their feet. But seismic vibrations have long been out of reach for the common human.
Until now! For the Shoe Horn Foot-Mounted Stethoscope has arrived. Idle, the Shoe Horn (or Shoe Horns) appear to be nothing
more than fashionable toe-mounted trumpets. But when the need arises, or the mood strikes you, nonchalantly tilt a boot forwards and begin the subterranean sonic experience. Sound is carried through a flexible tube (optionally concealed within a trouser leg) all the way up to your earpiece.
Possible benefits of always having your Shoe Horn at the ready include:
early warning of approaching tube trains;
earthquake detection;
cracking floor-mounted safes;
locating rodents, elephants or sexually available frogs;
surreptitious eavesdropping;
impromptu doctoring of fainted peoples without the indignity of kneeling down.
Dual Shoe Horns can be used for a stereo effect. Note that the Shoe Horn is of no assistance if you experience difficulty donning footwear.
Are you certain you don't want them to be digital ?
Shoe_20Horny
Oh, and this is not even vaguely related... [normzone, Jan 24 2016]
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Annotation:
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You should always keep your ear to the ground. (+) |
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//Idle, the Shoe Horn// That's a stupid name for a
shoe horn. |
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Also, may I suggest a frequency upshifter, so we can
eavesdrop on those scheming elephants and their
foottalk? |
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Very few elephants are actually divine, [Ian]. My list
starts and stops with Ganesh. |
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