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+Glaucoma: Screen is fuzzy
+Arthritis: Limited range of motions and random lockup
+Alzheimers: At random times, the score resets and your opponent's name disappears.
+Grumpy: Every time you lose a ball, or even win one, your character must utter longer & longer complaints, during which time
you are immobile to attacks.
+Incontinence: At random, but long intervals, you have to forfeit (even mid-swing) (unless you buy with extra points the diapers)
Of course, there will be cheat codes to get a flamethrower.
[link]
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\\+Alzheimers: At random times, the score resets and your opponent's name disappears.\\ OK that one had me laughing. |
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I assume you'd get to choose which senior citizen you'd be, and they'd all be lovable in some way, even the grumpy ones. |
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Yes, of course, you get to pick & customize your Senior Avatar, with accessories like oversized sunglasses, ascots, and shorts with belts 3,6,9" above the waistline. |
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//during which time you are immobile to attacks// |
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Unable to attack? Unable to defend? Unable to make it to the loo? |
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+Deafness: Get into long drawn out arguments with the officals over calls you agree with but couldn't properly hear. [+] |
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Osteoporosis: Unable to spot objects above eye level, and you suffer a 1% chance of breaking your hip whenever the ball hits you. |
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Dementia: The screen morphs into some other competition, such as bowling, basketball, hockey, football, nude beach volleball, or cross-country skiing. You eventually loose the round, and find yourself being excorted about by large orderlies... |
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They should also occasionally loose their teeth... |
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This instantly reminded me of the butler from the training level of Tomb Raider. While Lara is legging it round over obstacles and whatnot, he will follow you at a slow shuffle mumbling and grunting to himself. If you jump out in front of him, he gets quite flustered and sometimes farts. |
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I think there should be celebrities such as the Bushes, Reagan, Mohammed Ali, Bill Cosby, Bob Hope. |
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