The world is such a hideous, evil place. Why should we prematurely expose one to its many terrors? Let our young children enjoy a few years of blissful ignorance before the realities of life catch up to them.
Introducing the Ivory Tower Set™, comprising the Rose-Tinted Glasses, Censor’s Earplugs
and Silver Spoon.
The Glasses, using sophisticated AR technology, will automatically filter out any gore, violence or sex.
The Earplugs, armed with sound identification heuristics, will prevent profanity from befouling one's ears.
Finally, through a combination of surface chemical coating and nanotech, the Silver Spoon sweetens everything you eat by removing any traces of bitterness or sourness.
With every purchase of the Ivory Tower Set™, you get a free Ostrich Set™, which helps adults filter out unpleasant individuals and unflattering remarks. Nirvana and tranquility is yours... for a price. So act now, while stocks last.