Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Security Muzak

 Add a free security guard to your store....
  (+5)
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In my stores, Muzak plays constantly. The security guard is a very expensive beast with a bad cap and halitosis. In a recent trial, a supervisor was paid to interrupt the Muzak at 5 minute intervals with the phrase "Put it BACK!" - you would be surprised how many pockets were emptied! Obviously, tape recordings could be used for a variety of stores, including "Stop looking at my breasts" and the ever popular "STOP picking your nose."
—Skybird, Dec 30 2000

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       Sounds like a nice variation on the scarecrook [a cardboard cutout of a cop or security officer].
—supercat, Dec 30 2000
   

       If shelves were counter-balanced so that the total weight of items in the section was tracked, you could customize the announcement.

Shopper picks up a magazine. Voice says, "Not for everyone"
Shopper puts it back: V, "You're not serious"
Shopper picks another: V, "Readers make better parents"

USW

Would this decrease 'sticky fingers' or 'dirty hands'? I doubt it, but it might increase 'stickiness' in certain store sections.
—reensure, Dec 31 2000
   

       That's a good idea if only to interrupt the Muzak for a few precious seconds....
—seizethefish, Dec 31 2000
   

       Two important things to remember when you are a security guard, never fall asleep where you can be seen, always write your name on your lunch.
—SOPPS, Jan 01 2001
   


 

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