h a l f b a k e r yNumber one on the no-fly list
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A circular track, holding an Ourobourosian mini-train line of single plastic seats with a rollercoaster type metal-bar "seat belt", encloses a security checkpoint.
Take a seat and put your belongings into a small basket hanging off the in-side of the ride. The train will slowly make its way through
a multisensored tunnel where occupant and belongings are given their respective electronic once-overs.
If both you and your travelling ephemera get the green light then the bar cants to the inside, allowing you to collect your things, exit on the outside and continue on your journey.
If not, the bar cants the other way allowing you to either disembark into the gentle ministrations of Security, or simply go'round again, remembering this time to put your metallic pocket lint into the basket, and perhaps auction off the machete to the crowd.
[link]
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For those who forget to empty their pockets, a few
loop-the-loops are included in the ride. [+] |
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So, I get to take a ride on a kids' train while some dipshit
irradiates me with who-knows-what, instead of taking the
time to properly assess and search passengers as
necessary? |
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yup, that pretty well covers it. |
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The seats themselves are sensors as well, and there's a tunnel you straddle: more sensors: the idea is to give a thorough onceover making a handheld wand unnecessary in most cases. |
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The basket goes through the same routine it currently does, except it's being carried through by the train instead of a conveyor belt. |
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A 10m diameter circle would provide seating for 30 people at a time. Allowing for a round trip time of 1 minute (half a minute on each side of the barrier), that's a person every 2 seconds: anybody that forgets to put their keys in the basket simply goes around again, without mucking up the process. |
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Faster, same amount of personnel: one person on the basket machine, one person to do any further securitizing (pat down, wand), and one person in charge of general intimidation: sizing up each passenger in the 30 seconds before they enter the tunnel, etc. |
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Bun from me. I never did see the point standing in a
queue, waiting for some underpaid Indian guy to push the
GO button on the Xray machine so he can look at the next
laptop bag on the conveyor. |
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Slightly baked, speaking as someone who did take a wooden computer through New Delhi airport security, it was a similarly interminable experience. |
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You don't have to go to India. Here, all taxi drivers and
airport security personnel are Punjabi or Rajasthani. |
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How did I miss this one! Infinitely bunworthy. [+] |
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