h a l f b a k e r yNo, not that kind of baked.
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The late Queen lies in state and people want to pay their respects. In fact so many people want to pay their respects that the queue is now over 5 miles and takes 24 hours to reach Westminster Hall, and will continue until Monday when the funeral takes place. The numbers must be into the millions, but
still they keep coming and some will be disappointed, however there is no need, as I have a solution:
My idea is create two more exact replicas of the Westminster Hall Bier.
It's probably too late to do this now, but with replicas in place the queues of numbers attending would be divided in 3.
Everyone would believe that they visited and paid their respects to "the real late Queen", as no one would know which one this actually was.
Of course only one coffin gets buried but with a bit of shuffling (similar to that of the coins under the cups game) no one will be able to tell that the coffin they visited was in fact a replica.
Only opening the lids collapses the wave form, and as that's never going to happen the truth of Schrödinger's Deceased Queen respectfully remains a complete mystery.
RIP wonderful Queen (King Charles - please don't chop off my head)
Her Majesty
Jubilee_20Pringles
Chomp [whatrock, Sep 17 2022]
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Annotation:
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Clever. You would have to use three adjacent rooms within the same building to perpetuate the lie. |
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And don't worry about Charles, he's too busy overseeing the daily ironing of his shoelaces, the prepasting of his toothbrush, and ensuring his food is properly chewed for him. |
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I'm not sure that would work - people would want to visit all the coffins to be sure.
At the moment people are filing past the coffin one-by-one on both sides. Each individual stops for a couple of seconds to bow or curtsy. It would be fairly easy to batch the mourners up into small groups to increase the throughput significantly with no loss of respect.
If that's not enough you could also install gantries, and parallelise the viewing some more. |
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Now if the late Queen had requested cremation, perhaps as an eco move, the resultant ashes could be divided into several urns which could then be displayed at various venues the length and breadth of the country for people to conveniently visit. |
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//Now if the late Queen had requested cremation, [...] divided into several urns which could then be displayed at various venues the length and breadth of the country for people to conveniently visit.// |
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Historically the practice was to just chop the monarch into pieces - the individual bits could then be put on display around the country to prove they were dead. |
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So now you're spreading the traffic jam to 3 times as many streets? I'm not sure that would improve the situation. |
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Extending the concept further, multiple containers in multiple areas would reduce the traffic jams and allow the whole of England to pay their respects in a single day. |
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Or it would just cause more traffic jams in more places, as people who weren't even going to bother trying to get through the line decide it's now more reasonable to give it a go. |
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Make millions and send one to every household |
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It's easy to see why so many have left the halfbakery or no longer make posts. All sense of humour has gone. Ideas which are actually halfbaked are voted down. Who wants an audience that no longer likes their work? I'm calling it a day. It's been great, but it's time to move on. |
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//All sense of humour has gone// Well I never had any sense of humour, everything I ever posted here was deadly serious |
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// Make millions and send one to every household // |
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Or make available a tasty memory (linky). |
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//I'm calling it a day.// |
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Then we must walk in solemn procession past all your thousand-odd ideas. No sniggering. |
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I learned long ago that when a girl lays down an ultimatum* you should refuse every time. Either you do what she wants and lose her respect -- and possibly your self-respect -- and then her or you don't and may lose her or not, but you don't lose your self-respect. Anyway, what were we talking about again? |
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*unless it's something actually tearing you down, which is a very rare case |
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If you refuse every girl who lays down, you will never meet the queen. |
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