h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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Sac Sack
Easy reversible birth control for men | |
For some reason as yet unknown to me, the testicles do not work well to produce sperm when exposed to normal body temperature. So they hang outside the body in a special "sac". If a man wears tight clothing such that this sac is held closely against the body, sperm production goes down, and infertility
can result.
I don't know to what extent anyone has actually proposed going out of the way to ensure the testicles are kept warm, deliberately to reduce sperm production (outside of, say, deliberately wearing jockey shorts instead of boxer shorts). Perhaps the method is too unreliable to be practical. OR, perhaps, nobody has decided to stretch the notion to the limit.... The HalfBakery should welcome this, therefore!
See link. A Space Blanket is made of lightweight material and is specially designed to reduce the escaping of body heat. Suppose a small amount of this material was used to make a kind of "drawstring bag" (see link for example). We might want a couple of layers of Space Blanket material in this sack, to increase its effectiveness at retaining heat.
The testicular sac is placed in this container, and the drawstring is used to keep it from slipping off. There should be adequate looseness to ensure good blood flow. If lightweight enough, it should be possible to wear this Sac Sack for weeks at a time (when removed while bathing, be sure to bathe in hot water at that time!).
So, the testicles are thus not allowed to cool to properly produce sperm, and sperm count drops. After a couple of days some non-intercourse sexual activity can be used to "clear from the system" any sperm created before the sack began to be used. This is probably the biggest drawback, waiting for this time to pass before the sperm count becomes as low as it can go. The presence of the Sac Sack should not interfere much with sexual or any other activity, which is another thing that should make it possible to be worn for weeks or even months or years.
Will sperm production be reduced enough for this to be a good Birth Control method? I think it is worth finding out. Will any other functions of the testicles be inhibited (producing testosterone, for example)? Also worth finding out!
Obviously the Sac Sack can be removed when infertility is no longer desired. Just wait a few days for sperm production to return to normal, that's all.
Space Blanket
http://www.cabelas....5a&_requestid=60065
As mentioned in the main text. Invented by NASA because everything shipped to space must be as lightweight as possible. They are basically a plastic sheet with a metallic coating, much like the material in those shiny birthday balloons. [Vernon, Feb 01 2010]
Drawstring bag
http://zakkalife.bl...drawstring-bag.html
As mentioned in the main text; this was simply the first example I came across while looking for a picture. [Vernon, Feb 01 2010]
Improved spermatogenesis
Improved_20spermatogenesis
Same principle, in reverse. [bungston, Feb 03 2010]
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Who's gonna want to have sex with someone with sweaty, smelly balls? |
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Im not sure I want to resemble some sort of tinfoil torpedo whilst in the act, however i think its worth a go just for the look on her face when she sees the twin deathstars in all their glory.
"I'm going in Red Leader!" |
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[leinypoo13], body odor is related to the presence of certain bacteria, which of course can be cleaned off. Also, certain sweat glands are more actively involved than others. You seldom notice body odor on a sweaty arm, for example. Limb-crotch sweat glands are the culprits here, because they produce quantities of the chemicals (pheromones, likely) that the bacteria convert to other odors. I'm not aware that the sweat glands in the skin of the testicular sac are that type of sweat gland. And as for plain sweat, if it is trapped inside the Sac Sack during sex, what does it matter? |
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[S-note], only the testicles are to be wrapped up in this Idea, so no "tinfoil torpedo" look. |
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I see, I retract my comment. Your right, it wont look silly if only the undercarriage is covered in silver foil. What about the um, ride comfort of the partner involved? |
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Space Blanket material is mostly just plastic. How much discomfort is a layer of plastic wrap? For a partner, none; for you, depends on how tightly it is wrapped! Which is not the case here. |
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Can the outside not be disguised with a flesh-toned silicone rubber layer? |
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"Good afternoon Mr. Jones, I was wondering if I could get
some feedback from you concerning your experiences with
the
VernCo Sac Sack......is it OK to talk in front of the children?" |
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You could just tuck them puppies back from whence they distended...like the Shaolin monks. |
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It's cheap, effective, and the packaging is reusable. |
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I am pretty sure that the Shaolin monks have a good PR man
and irreversably descended testicles like the rest of us. |
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Descended eh? I’ve been saying that wrong for a while now.
The testes are not irreversibly descended though, they can be reinserted into their respective inguinal canals on purpose or by accident. I’ve had it happen in accidents at least twice. Once, after jumping a bike, (badly), and once trying to keep from falling out of a tree. It’s quite uncomfortable but not unbearably painful and they pop right back out with a bit of pressure on the pelvis. |
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Oh c'mon! I can't be the only guy this has happened to. |
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Sweet mother of God, can there be just one bloody rule I'm not an exception to?
I mean really now.
Just one.
Is it so much to ask? |
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having survived the bluejeans of the '70s, I *sortof* know what you mean [2f], but I really do *not* remember streamlining on *purpose*, and accidental 'ascendances" were accompanied by a sudden stop of all motion, a widening of the eyes and a slow, very careful rearrangement of the area in question. |
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Levi Strauss still owes me two kids. |
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Using wool could lead to embarassment when people ask you what you're knitting. |
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The outer layer of the sac should be covered in rigid mirrored squares, such that the bawbag becomes a discobag and those engaging in two-willy sexual activity can use the Todger Torch (qv.) to spackle dancing patterns on the walls. |
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//It's cheap, effective, and the packaging is reusable// |
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And how is this any different than a condom? |
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[21 Quest], when one posts an Idea here, it is not always necessary to delve into ALL the details. People complain when you do; I've noticed.... I suspect the simplest answer, that doesn't add a lot of weight, is a kind of drain hole at the bottom of the Sack. Perhaps with a short wick, to absorb droplets inside the Sack, and let them evaporate outside. |
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[MikeD], a condom is a physical barrier for sperm; a Sac Sack, if proves effective, prevents sperm from existing in the first place. |
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Vernon, I suspect you will never truly know how much your last anno has made my day. |
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//'ascendances" were accompanied by a sudden stop of all motion, a widening of the eyes and a slow, very careful rearrangement of the area in question//
Yep, quite uncomfortable. I just assumed it could be done on 'purpose' because of how easily it could by accident. Then when I read about the Shaolin crotch kicks I assumed that it was a thing possible for any man, just not easily. |
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[MikeD] The only difference I can think of is that there is no condom with a fifty plus year warrantee. |
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//fifty plus year warrantee// |
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Alright, I'm sold. Do they come in a Crown-Royal bag theme? |
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//I just assumed it could be done on 'purpose' because of
how easily it could by accident.// |
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I can easily knock out my front teeth by accident but, as
far as I know, I lack the ability to voluntarily moult teeth. |
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In much the same way, a surgeon can wiggle your kidneys
around all over the place; do you know anyone who can
wiggle their own kidneys (in situ)? |
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I would bet twenty of Beanangel's dollars that nobody has
the ability to retract their own testicles, except by
manipulation. And even then, I doubt very much that the
testicles wind up where they came from. |
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Apparently it's called retractile testicles and while not common it is possible for some men to retract them the same way some people can wiggle their ears while most other folks can't. |
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...and If they don't go back where they came from, then where? |
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//Who's gonna want to have sex with someone with
sweaty, smelly balls?// |
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Maybe that's how the birth control method is ensured to
work! hahaha |
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Didn't know why testicles were hanging outside the body
and looking so awful and unappealing (just asked myself
that during class, yesterday) and your post answered that
question for me. Bun for accidental englightenment. :) |
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//I'll take that bet//
oh, great; something else to look forward to on YouTube.... no, wait, don't. |
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"awful and unappealing"... just want you fellers to know that is not a universal opinion. |
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as to the idea, I doubt it will have the desired effect except for those whose sperm count is already below normal. |
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>reinserted into their respective inguinal canals on |
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looking back on that, "inguinal" "linguini"..so that's how they make it! I may never eat pasta again... |
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