Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.

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Roomba Shaver

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One part roomba
One part lawnmower
One part scolopendra gigantea

Simply draw around those patches of your skin that you wish to leave hirsute with the (washable) red marker pen, and the camera on the roombamower will ensure that only everything up to but not including the ringed-fenced areas is deforested. Yes, you can relax your whole splayed and naked body on the parlour floor while the roombamower crawls diligently over your skin, devouring your hair, virtually silent other than the soft beep it emits when it's time for you to turn your back and crack to the bare 100w bulb that dangles from the ceiling rose.

calum, Apr 20 2020

Inspired by reensure Shaver_20on_20a_20Stick
[calum, Apr 20 2020]

scolopendra gigantea https://en.wikipedi...colopendra_gigantea
[calum, Apr 20 2020]

The Flowbee https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flowbee
[theircompetitor, Apr 20 2020]

[link]






       Better if its not washable, ensures consistency
pocmloc, Apr 20 2020
  

       Available with swap-out second battery for a few of the Letterkenny fellas and some northern girls?   

       Sluggestion: orange or purple marker, in case this particular scolopendra g. is colour-blind.
Sgt Teacup, Apr 20 2020
  

       A veritable panoply of disturbing imagery, from such a simple premise. Quaintly hideous.
8th of 7, Apr 21 2020
  

       This is disgusting; how dare you propose the continued use of 100w incandescent bulbs: have you no LEDs? [+]
pertinax, Apr 21 2020
  

       I think it's time for you boys to share my last taste of the true black meat; the flesh of the giant, aquatic, Brazilian centipede.
wagster, Apr 21 2020
  

       Actually you could dispense with the marker pen and just download the latest trendy template.
pocmloc, Apr 21 2020
  

       // 100w incandescent bulbs //   

       <Gratuitous pedantry>   

       The idea does not specify that the lamp is incandescent; only that it consumes 100W.   

       It could be a commercial CFL, a SON-T, or even - as suggested - a LED array. None of those are precluded by the simple statement of its power dissipation.   

       </GP>
8th of 7, Apr 21 2020
  

       A single LED bulb that consumes 100 Watts? Is there a welding helmet handy?
RayfordSteele, Apr 21 2020
  
      
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