h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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A company that sells things you often lose attached to
small carabiners by little wire cables.
The company sells 4 - 8 inch steel rings and stocks such
items as fingernail clippers, medicine vials, scissors,
eyeglass cases for extra eyeglasses, Chapstick, Sharpie
pens, little brass calipers,
magnifying glasses, little
sewing
kits, eyeglass repair kits, multi tools, flashlights, little
rolls of heavy twine, clamshell cases for earbuds with
earbuds inside, laserpointers, tictacks, thumb drives,
little
tape measures, and toothbrush cases. All of these
objects
have their own little carabiner attached.
The company also sells carabiners with sleeves for
duplicate credit cards, and carabiners with keyrings for
any
item you already have that has a hole in it. Also little
wire
cables with lugs for the do it yourselfers.
Having the carabiner attached will be very helpful in
getting these objects back to where they are kept,
because
the carabiner indicates that this is a Ring Item.
Also, children and bad adults will be less inclined to
snake
your small items if a distinct color of carabiner is
permanently attached to them.
These would be great gifts for kids going to college and
other people who lose things often.
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Annotation:
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// that sells things you often lose // |
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You can buy [xenzag]'s sanity ? Cool ... |
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Yes, better to attach them to something more solid, like the Parthenon. |
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Or maybe put them in a museum ... |
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Hmmm, not convinced. Where does the ring attach to
small children at supermarkets? |
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// small children at supermarkets? // |
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The idea explicitly states "helpful in getting these objects back". Why would you want a child back once you had managed to lose it ? Is not the best thing to make a rapid, discreet exit, preferably to another continent, without leaving any contact details ? |
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Statistically, women are drawn to men who are
clearly inept with small children; obviously one
returns them to their parents before coitus. They
need to be relatively unsoiled to ensure they are
available next weekend. |
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Surely you don't expect me to use my pasty
complexion, underdeveloped musculature,
carbuncles and vacuous personality to get me sexual
release? Most unsatisfactory. |
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Don't be too sure; it's worked for the rest of us. |
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