h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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So, you’ve just begun to date someone, and you want to impress them with all your charming qualities and impressive accomplishments. But how can you do this without seeming like a braggart? How will your date ever know you were the ten-time champion State Fair butter carver?
The answer is here!
Stranger, Then Fiction will arrange for others to do the complimenting for you. Our highly trained professionals will meet you and your love while you are out on your date, posing as old friends who invariably point out your best qualities and support whatever outrageous claims you may have just made.
Have your old baseball buddy run into you at the bar and recount what a reliable team player you are. Arrange for your sky-diving instructor to bump into you on vacation and relate your amazing adventures together. Or, go all out and have an ex-girlfriend pull the new girl aside to confide to her that you were unbelievable in bed, and that she was heartbroken when you left her to help the orphans overseas.
Call ahead to arrange for more complicated scenarios, or just make it up as you go and use your cell phone and our handy mobile units. Props, costumes, and groups of friends are all available.
You can make up anything you want, or for a lesser chance of later downfall simply use the service to point out real qualities that might otherwise go unheralded.
Don’t rely on your real friends, who might share an unsavory memory or blow a perfectly good compliment with their ineloquence.
This time, use the professionals.
Foreploy
http://www.unwords....nword/foreploy.html
[pertinax, Dec 27 2006]
[link]
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You should have watched Vinny during that blind tasting. He could pick out the vintages of five Ill Poggione Brunello di Montalcinos just by smelling the nose and play the slide whistle at the same time! |
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It's a good idea, I'm just worried that it will lead true friends to demand money for their "services" as well. |
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Hmmm though. What happens if this date turns out to be one of many, or even one that ends in marrage. You want to base this on lies and innuendo? yeah ok [+] why not. I think we do this anyway, make exaggerated exaggerations. |
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Just make sure you cover your tracks. We dont wants her insisting you invite - the disabled kid you saved from crocodiles using only your light-sabre while skydiving in the amazon with the medicines sans frontier helping sick babies build orphanages with their bare hands - to the wedding. |
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You might be able to get out of that predicament by paying for a second surprise meeting with a 'friend'. |
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"Hey, remember the disabled kid you saved from those Amazonian crocodiles? Oh, really, you were trying to get hold of him to invite him to your wedding? Well, I'm so sorry to tell you this, mate, but he died last month. Yeah, such a shame - he was tragically mauled by an emu while attempting to hop one-legged across the Australian outback. (He was doing the cross-country hop for charity, by the way - said you'd inspired him to overcome his disability and make the most of his life, to make a difference like you do.) I was there when he died - it was awful: the blood, the feathers, the squawking... You know, I heard his dying words. Between his screams of anguish he called out to me, "Please... thank [badideajeans] for... everything he did for me... he is... a true hero." Anyway, mate, I'm so sorry to have to pass on such bad news. I'm sure he would have loved to come to your wedding." |
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<pedant>No crocodiles in the Amazon, mate. You might be thinking of caimans.</pedant> |
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<crook>So, what's it worth not to tell her that?</crook> |
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They're not my crocs. Maybe [shinobi] shipped some there? |
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And when your date likes your friends and wants to hang out with them again what do you do? |
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They just happened to be passing through town, [Chefboyrbored]. They live in.. umm... somewhere far away and impractical and/or dangerous to visit. |
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"I can't believe how all your friends are just passing through!"
"Yes, what a coincidence to meet so many"
"But we're in a cinema!"
"Erm..." |
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//And when your date likes your friends and wants to hang out with them again what do you do?//
Good point...I guess, like many businesses, this one would rely on people not thinking things through very well before buying. Or, for that matter, before lying. Aren't humans just amazing? I'm not saying it's nice, I'm just saying it might work. With the proper waivers, of course. |
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I think it would at least work for one
use or so. I was out with my SO
tonight, and ran into some friends of
hers who were back from out of town.
They said some really nice things about
he... Hey wait a minute! |
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Okay, not that last bit, we bugged out
pretty quick. But it would be believable,
especially around the holidays. |
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