Rent boy's shirt

Branded clothing has become something of a joke. There was a period where it was fashionable for streetkids in London to wear Henri-Lloyd sailing jackets (in Birmingham it was Mustos). These jackets are not cheap; they are quality kit and very expensive. But in fact, slapping a fancy logo on any old tosh ups its value dramatically.

Why do we pay to become walking billboards?

It is possible to buy a wide array of LED message tags which are designed to be added to clothing. Let us hire a decent fashion designer to produce a jacket (or whatever clothing you want, frankly) which incorporates several little message tags at strategic places (say, lapel, collar, a couple at the bottom, one at the back of the neck). All the tags are reprogrammed via your PC, using an ID code unique to each jacket/T-shirt/trousers/thneed.

Now, boot up the PC and log on to biddableclothing.com. Here, enter your ID number, along with details such as where you live, etc. Advertisers can then bid to have their logos on your jacket/thneed. Once you accept their bid, you can plug in your jacket and download your sponsor's message direct. Your choice of sponsor is recorded on the website alongside your jacket's ID number, until you decide to change. After that, every hour you wear the jacket for gets you points, and points mean cold, hard cash.

To prevent cheating, two cheap temperature sensors monitor the temperatures on the outside surface of the jacket and the inside - if the difference is too great (e.g. you left it on the radiator) or too small (you just left it over a chair) and the time doesn't count.

I could have been a millionaire with this one. Instead, I'm sharing it with you people for free. Am I generous or what?