h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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This looks like a normal wine-bottle screw-top but it has a 'coin' battery and motor concealed in the top to unscrew the top at high speed. It is activated by remote control and the unscrewing speed will be sufficient to launch the top into the air so the effect is that you put a bottle of wine onto
the table, activate the concealed remote control, and then dramatically snatch the bottle top out of the air shouting "Huzzah!" as you do so.
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We will award a bun, but consider the idea could be vastly improved by the reckless and dangerously inadvisable employment of pyrotechnics. |
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A champagne cork endowed with lethal potential by means of nitrocellulose propellant would be a winner, shirley ? |
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But that's baked, surely? - it's a common dinner-party trick to unscrew a wine-bottle by mounting a Catherine Wheel horizontally on top of the cap and lighting the blue touch-paper |
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All well and good, but the cap rarely travels far. |
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We are hoping for something with a closer resemblance to a 12-bore, or possibly a Bofors ... |
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//shouting "Huzzah!" as you do so// |
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Not in the Buchanan household, given our history and the
never-closing wound left by the Blenheim-Hapsburg "incident".
The tradition amongst the Buchanan's, whenever a bottle is
opened, is to shout "Fuckemall*!" in unison and with gusto. |
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(After Fükemalle the Short, obviously.) |
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Is this the April Fool's idea? |
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Nice, a surprise event. A solar flare could cause some rare openings. |
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Thanks [Ian]; Many people must have been similarly confused - I've corrected the title now. |
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This is why I keep my wines in a Faraday cage tantalus. |
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