h a l f b a k e r yFlaky rehab
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How many times do we see it? So many dog owners just not ready to be warm, loving caregivers to their creatures. After the first year, their once vibrant pups are reduced to living out their days in a cage and nights all alone in the quarantined laundry room.
With the new Proud Pups Parents Program,
we would offer you a chance to adopt a restless, hungry, temper-ridden baby for a week in order to determine if you are worthy to adopt that cute little Dachshund or that adorable Siberian Huskie. While the demands of keeping a baby for a week exceed that of what it takes to raise a pooch - but thats the point, you see. You're ready for a dog if you can raise a kid. The more demanding the breed of dog, the more tempermental the baby you get.
At the end of the program, an evaluation is filled out by program trainers which determine whether or not you would be a great pup parent.
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what would you need for a week to prove you are capable of having a baby? |
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It seems pretty high-risk for the babies involved. I'd like to see the mother's reaction as you ask if you can borrow junior for a few days. |
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No babies would be hurt - psychologically or physically - in this training program. Besides, all this talk about the babies' safety. What about the dog's if he ends up in a broken home?! |
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Can I just keep the baby if I like it? |
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No, unfortunately all kidnapped babies have to be properly returned to their mothers in due time. |
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If it is not used solely as a means of punishment, most dogs will grow to accept a properly sized cage as their personal space and will often willingly spend free time in it. Thus it is ok even for warm loving caregivers to feel good about those times when the dog must be locked up… |
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Nonetheless, I see many people with dogs who should not even be allowed to own a pet rock, so I think there could be a need for your solution. I would back away from using babies though… Why can’t you just get a dog from the pound/shelter and have them come evaluate you after a week. If you’re not up to par, they take the dog back to the shelter and the both of you are no worse off than before. |
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What about the BABY if it ends up in a broken home?! |
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Look, maybe we can get a program together for raising babies but for right now, lets choose our battles and focus on one thing at a time. |
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surely babies are easier than puppies? |
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Eric chewed his way through 12 encyclopaedias. none of my sons did that! |
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Perhaps I'm not making my point clearly enough. This system is devised to find out if someone is ready to handle the responsibilty of a dog by giving them a baby, which carries a higher margin of responsibilty than a dog ... right? |
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If perhaps, the person is not responsible enough for a dig, and you give him someone's child, then what? |
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"Well, we can't give you a dog because you returned the child with a broken arm, leg, and pneumonia." |
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Letsbuildafort, I'm so lost... |
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Do you mean to suggest that taking care of babies requires more responsibility then taking care of man's best friend? |
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If you want to freak out the parents, play dead. |
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this would all make sense if JimmyPiper were a labrador. |
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Well, I never! Apparently this JimmyPiper person believes puppies to be more important than human babies! I’ve never read anything so preposterous in my life! How outrageous! I’m outraged! |
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I think its kind of funny ... "I'm so lost... " -- All this valley-girl speak is making me woozy. |
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To heck with the dog bit... is the author seriously suggesting a baby rental service? |
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Yeah but convicted sex offenders CAN have pets! |
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The obvious solution is a Robot Pseudo-Dog used for the evaluation period. No dead/damaged babies required, no pointless disputes about which type of dependent is the most demanding, and the potential for gathering video-clip data about potential owners to aid the assessment process. |
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//is the author seriously suggesting a baby rental service// |
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//all kidnapped babies have to be properly returned to their mothers in due time// |
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Sheesh. That's one way to cut down on overheads. All Jimmy(thePied)Piper has to do now is charge the mothers a fee for safe returns, and he'll just be raking it in. |
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