Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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mini zoo
Monkeys Writing The Complete Works Of Shakespeare
Non-Captive Trained Killer Whale Show
Panda Chaser
Quite Clever Dolphins
Railway zoo
Reciprocal Zoo
Surround-a-zoo
The Monkeys
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public:zoo

Quite Clever Dolphins

as opposed to stupid ones that exist now...

(+5, -19)

[vote for,
against]

Dolphins are supposed to be so clever. rah rah rah... Well they're not. They stupid. About as clever as a Dog and i'm sure we'll all agree that dog's are not Clever. At least not in the traditional sense.

Why not introduce a level of intelligence to this huge stupid Tuna Worrier of a 'fish' ? perhpas with a specialised breeding program... maybe introduce some Chimpanzee Genes... thereby raising the intelligence levels to maybe allow them to use basic tools and maybe even sign language instead of all that pointless squeeking.

—	dazwah, Feb 19 2002

Dolphins with Intelligence http://www.internet...,,12_959601,00.html
In Yahoo's 2002 Superbowl Ad the dolphin squeaks better than the tourist. [jurist, Feb 19 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]

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Tests have shown that dolphins are capable of understanding abstract concepts such as punctuation.

—	angel, Feb 19 2002

So long and thanks for all the fish

—	thumbwax, Feb 19 2002

Awwww, leave 'em alone, [dazwah]...They're not hurting anything. (And those that use Yahoo turn out to be kind of interesting.)

—	jurist, Feb 19 2002

come here and squeek that.

—	po, Feb 19 2002

On the Internet, no-one can tell if you're a dolphin.

angel: <smirk>

—	st3f, Feb 19 2002

How much extra intelligence will it take to allow them to use basic tools when they have no hands?

—	sirrobin, Feb 19 2002

Are we all supposed to be upset by this Dazwah? Sounds kind of fishy to me, and so you get the bones. maybe the dolphins came up with something better than the puke sponge so you got pissed off.

Wait, are you talking about the football team Dolphins?

—	gootyam, Feb 19 2002

Dolphins can't play football, they have no feet.

—	dare99, Feb 19 2002

seriously now - why is there never a dolphin friendly symbol on tinned tuna cat food. this troubles me and I do not buy tuna for my cats

—	po, Feb 19 2002

(po) cats can't read as well as dolphins do

—	gootyam, Feb 19 2002

Indroducing Chimp genes - how would that help? Do dolphins have fleas, eat leaves and scratch their back-sides a lot.? Squeeking is good, and can be heard over 50 miles away, chimps are only heard over the tea pot.

gy: Cats can read when it suits them.

—	arora, Feb 19 2002

if only cats would do their own shopping.

—	po, Feb 19 2002

Make them earn their keep, give them a list, a fiver and a wicker basket any day.

—	arora, Feb 20 2002

They'd just go to the local cathouse to spent the fiver though (and come back with a basket of dead field voles)

—	dare99, Feb 20 2002

Everyone knows that dolphins happen to be the most intelligent things to hit the sea, since the extinction of the water soluble fish.

—	Mojo, Feb 20 2002

Go get the rings, daz... here's your reward. <*}}}><{

I suppose adding enough intelligence to stay out of the tuna nets would be a good thing.

—	RayfordSteele, Feb 20 2002

For an air-breathing animal to decide to live in water, you must question its intelligence. But then people live in Dundee.

—	pottedstu, Feb 20 2002

Dundonians are *people*?

—	calum, Feb 20 2002

From a TV drama set in Dundee:
"They've ripped the heart out of this city."
"And that's a hard thing to do to the asshole of the world."

—	angel, Feb 21 2002

The whiting's on the wall daz. The mammalian sea fauna will have their revenge. They are strong of will and steely of porpoise.

—	goff, Feb 21 2002

? Dolphins live in Dundee.

—	arora, Feb 21 2002

Dolphins are the second smartest mammals. humans being 1st that is.

—	funky_monkey, Jul 15 2002

<Monkey>Ever seen a dolphin type?</Monkey>

—	thumbwax, Aug 24 2002

Kent: The top story killer dolphins! The recent wave of murders....umm did I say killer dolphins...I meant killer Italiens, Grey, Bottlenosed intelligent Italiens!

Homer: Intelligent Italiens? Something's wrong!

simpsons clip (http://www.monstromart.com/content.php?content=getlines&epcode=BABF21)

Dolphin: Snorky...talk..man :: coughs :: I'm sorry let me start over, years ago dolphins lived on the land

Moe: What did he just say?

Carl: He said dolphins used to live on land

Moe: whhhaaaa

Dolphin: Then your ancestors drove us into the sea, where we've suffered for millions of years

Marge: But you seemed so happy in the ocean, all that playfull leaping...

Dolphin: We were trying to get out, it's cold and wet, every morning I wake up flemmy.

—	gniterobot, Aug 25 2002