Porchullis

Hank sat on the porch quietly drawing pulls from his bottle of moonshine, and talking with Obadaiah.

"Yup, I gots me one of them new Porchullis thingies."

"So that's what this here winch is doing under the table."

"Maybel? she ain't no wench! that's my sister, just had a little too much to drink."

"No, I meant this here wheel with the chains on it."

"Oh, that, yep. Part of the porchullus. Pull out that peg, and lemme show ya how it works."

Obadiah faithfully pulled the peg out, and the winch began spinning wildy, letting out chain, as a cage of spiked metal came crashing down around the three outer sides of the porch. Hank had carefully used bailing wire to attach plastic screen material to the bars.

"Keeps out the flies pretty good too."

"Mmm. But Mabel's gonna be mighty angry when she comes to and finds that spike goin' through her leg."

"Shucks! Not again!"