h a l f b a k e r yThe best idea since raw toast.
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Popcorn is a smart idea. The inside of
kernel is nothing special - just the same
as regular corn. The secret ingredient is
the hard, heat-proof shell. As the kernel
is heated, the moisture trapped inside
turns to steam, building up the pressure
until the corn pops. Hence, of course, the
name. As soon as the shell bursts, the
superheated steam expands explosively,
fluffing the inside into the light, puffy
miracle that it is.
Buchanan Wholesome Foods, Inc. (a
wholly-owned subsidiary of MaxCo) is now
proud to make the entiire popcorn
experience available to a wider range of
foodstuffs.
Consider the humble pea - acceptable,
even pleasant, but not exciting. But no
more!! Dull peas begone!!
Dipped in our patented PopCoat - a
polymer produced from prawn-shells and
soy protein - the humble pea becomes a
PopPea! The PopCoat air-dries to form a
tough, impermeable popcorn-like shell,
allowing the pea to explore its full
explosive potential. This simple spherical
vegetable is transformed into a light,
exciting, eruptive snack that's fun for all
the family!
But the fun doesn't end there. Humble
cheddar, diced into small cubes and
dipped in PopCoat before frying, becomes
PopCheese - a fluffy, cheesy mousse of
percussive cheesy wonder. PopPork,
PopBrocolli... the possibilities are
unlimitless.
A Pacific Northwest Apocalypse Fable
C130_20Custardship
[Canuck, Dec 09 2007]
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Somehow I don't think this would work. |
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Superheated sticky cheese flying everywhere ... Shouldn't this be in the category "Product: Weapon" ? |
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Actually, I quite like the idea... [+] |
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I think the key to the popcorn staying popped is that the starch cools and solidifies on expansion. Cheese isn't going to do the same. |
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Puffed rice and other similar puffy starch products are made by the sudden release of pressure cooking--gun puffing, it's called. The proposed method would be a lot better for home use. |
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I can buy cheese puffs now, even if they are built out of corn with bizarre orange cheesy powder. |
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I'd be careful with the prawn shells... I have a lot of friends with prawn-style allergies. |
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Also I'm guessing some things pop less good then others. |
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I like the idea but you'd have to have a way to treat the internals of the to-be-popped item so that it will 'fluff up' and not disperse on eruption. Some kind of 'pop fluffer' additive. |
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Ok, like [baconbrain] said. Starch. You'd have to pressure-cook your cheese and broccoli in a starchy soup before you dip them in PopCoat. |
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Unless you could get one of those goats that exudes spider silk in their milk, to exude starch instead... then the problem is solved at the source. |
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Buchanan Wholesome Foods has indeed
received a few complaints and some trivial
lawsuits over "PopCheese" - we're still
working on a non-dispersal formulation.
PopPeas, however, are a raging success -
some varieties at least seem to contain the
right balance of starch and protein. |
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The thought lends new meaning to the term "cheesed off". |
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//can these Cheesy Pops be upgraded to,
say, 1,000lb units// Buchanan Organic
Defence Systems (a wholly-owned
subsidiary of Buchanan Wholesome Foods,
Inc.) did explore this. Unfortunately,
although the weaponized PopCheese
performed well in field tests, it was felt
that the 117ft-diameter popper would
arouse the suspicions of any enemy units
with advanced operational reconnaissance
capabilities. |
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// My Big Pop theory will be postulated from the rooftops at noon tomorrow // |
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I know you ! I've seen you ! You're the guy who stands on the street corner just down the road from our office, with a dog on a piece of string, shouting at the seagulls ..... where, oh where, did you get that knitted green wooly hat ? Is it a tea cosy, or do you wear it for a bet ? Is it really comfortable sleeping in that cardboard box .... ? |
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All this talk of weaponized Cheese Pops has brought on custard flashbacks (see link). |
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The horror. The horror... |
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This can only end in third degree burns. So it's third degree buns for everyone! |
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Dip them into PopCoat and make them go all asplody! |
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// internally located charge of thermite // |
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Great, now I won't be allowed to bring cheezeballs onto any planes. |
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You can bring them in our plane if you like. As long as we all get to frisk you first. |
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We are getting worried because one guy seems to be getting excessively enthusiastic about the body cavity searches, though. |
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Innovative! Make sure it's a non
carcinogenic polymer.... |
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Local entrepreneur and evil genius Maxwell Buchanan was seriously injured today, in a freak custard explosion. Ambulance workers were able to gather from his incessant mumbling that in a routine quality control check his PopCustard family-size ReactorPak reached critical mass and blasted his microwave door open, spewing scalding yellow goo all over his body. Mr. Buchanan is now in stable condition at the Bristolz Memorial Custard Burn Ward. |
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Indians living in the Andes (where water boils at a lower temperature, so beans take forever to cook) bred beans that can be popped in a frying pan. They don't pop as well as popcorn, though. |
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Have you ever cooked a small potato in the oven without poking holes in it? Sometimes it will burst open into this soft fluffy potatoe puff stuff that is really delicious with just a little salt. |
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It would be very cool if you could dip some small potatoes into your chitenous shell to see if youu could make this a uniform thing. |
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//Local entrepreneur and evil genius
Maxwell Buchanan // Actually, to be
honest, I'm more of an evil entrepreneur
and only a local genius. |
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