h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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Pop Quiche
Pre-made, pre-packaged, toaster-slit-thin Quiches | |
So the idea is quiches, completely envleoped in crust and packaged and shaped to fit into toaster. May need to be frozen like Pilsbury's "Toaster Streudel" brand. It's fancy food, made quick and easy for the gourmet!
I don't expect it to be very marketable. It's just an idea I thought of that made
me laugh.
A philosophical discourse on blandness
http://www.youtube....watch?v=vpStoROu0XE
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 06 2011]
don't say I didn't warn you
http://www.telegrap...sed-toxic-eggs.html
[po, Jan 07 2011]
2,3,7,8-Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin
http://en.wikipedia...chlorodibenzodioxin
"Just the facts, Ma'am. " [8th of 7, Jan 07 2011]
Real men eat Stilton
http://www.ncbi.nlm...articles/PMC161494/
[mouseposture, Jan 12 2011]
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Annotation:
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Real men don't eat quiche. |
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Microwaveable mini-quiches exist, but the crust is always a bit lacking. This would be fun and easy. |
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real women don't eat quiche - god its bland. |
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[po], I assure you, if it was bland, it was not real quiche. |
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I'd buy it with bacon [+] |
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what the heck is a //sloppy quiche//?
The ones I make or buy are all neatly formed in pie crusts. (true the ones w/ bacon are more flavorful!) |
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I'm skeptical of the dioxin claims... |
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Couple years ago there was a pork scare in Ireland with regards to dioxins. But at the legal limit of 1 part per TRILLION, freggin ANY pork is going to have dioxins in it. Even if fed only organically grown food. For such tiny levels, you priobably accumulate it from it being in the air in tiny amounts from people's hearth fires.
They never even suggested how dioxins could have gotten into the pork feed - only a mention of the oil in the machinery. No claims of an actual spill from the machinery found, plus I know that at least for human foods they use good old edible mineral oil in the machinery. |
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If you're worried about dioxins eat some olestra chips. It'll clear you right up of the stuff |
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Dioxin is a name for a large family of cyclic aryl ethers. Almost all of them are harmless, or indeed nevessary for existance of organic life. |
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The "dioxin" your media whine on about is one specific isomer (among hundreds) of tetra-chloro-dibenzyl-dioxin. |
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Do not be afraid. When the Revolution comes, the journalists will go up against the wall to be shot, along with the politicians, lawyers, accountants and mime artists. |
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In the interim, check your facts. |
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After I eat quiche I don't repose, I kneel in front of the toilet. |
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I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't love a good
quiche. Bland? Bacon, eggs, spinach, and cream?
With the tiniest pinch of nutmeg and cayenne?
Onions, Swiss. What's not to love? |
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A sloppy quiche is one that is undercooked. A
Perfect quiche is somewhere between a frittata
and a souffle. Somewhere perfect. The middle
should have just the slightest bit of jiggle when
you take it out, and it should continue to cook
with residual heat until it is uniform from edge to
edge, and the layers are distinct. |
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Perfect tender-flakey crust, delicate Vidalia
onion, bacon souffle, cheese, and the tiniest thin
crust of almost-but-not-quite dry spinach, from
bottom up. |
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I have fathered two children with a beautiful
woman. I can split cord wood with a hammer and
wedge. I took a leak next to Ron Jeremy and he
started crying. I love quiche. |
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I was watching a kid eat a raspberry Toaster Struedel this morning, and wishing that I had a savoury version. (And a cleaner kid). [+] |
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Those are damned good with the little frosting packets. |
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// nutmeg and cayenne? Onions, Swiss. What's not to love?
// |
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The Swiss. As far as I have been able to discover, it bears
no relation to Switzerland, and is merely the brand-name
for another innovative American polymer. |
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In fact, if you are going to name a plastic after a foreign
cheese-producing country, why on earth pick Switzerland?
Their reputation as a cheese-producing nation is surpassed
only by the reputation of their navy. |
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What is it about Americans that they really do not
understand the basic concept of cheese? Or chocolate? Or
bacon? Or coffee? Or, indeed,
taste? |
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Anyway, thank goodness I have managed to stop myself
before I launched into a rant. |
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// What is it about Americans that they really do not understand the basic concept of cheese? Or, indeed, taste? // |
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It's called "stupidity". And it's more commonplace than you might think. |
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// I have managed to stop myself before I launched into a rant // |
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You say that like it's a good thing. |
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We Americans want uniformity in our food, not quality. We want every McDonald's to serve the exact same Big Mac, we want every fast food restaurant to have the same menu as McDonald's, we want every restaurant to serve fast food, and dammit, we want every cheese we eat to taste the damn same. Keep your variety and your flavor in your own cheeses. We want pasteurized process cheese food, and we want every individually wrapped slice to be uniform and identical. |
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We can barely bring ourselves to even eat cheese with holes in it, and we sure aren't going to name it for any place near us. You should be grateful we name it after a country anywhere near you. Grateful, you hear me? |
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(Dang it, [MaxB], next time you go ahead with your rant and save me the trouble.) |
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And god damn it we want it super-sized, with a smile, and you better believe we want fries with that. |
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Cheese is frightening stuff <link>. |
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Yes, cheese is teeming with microbes, but I'm not sure most other foods aren't also teeming with microbes as well. Anyway, microbes might be good for you. |
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[wipes Stilton crumbs from beard]
Pre-made & pre-packaged anything is OK, if you don't actually want any food, but it's no substitute for the real thing. - |
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I stopped eating this rubbish when they stopped calling it a flan. I recommend you all do the same until they change the name back. |
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I love the idea, [EdwinBakery], but I f'in *hate* quiche. Every time I see a quiche Lorraine, I feel a tear swell up for the lost crispy bacon & scrambled eggs that could have been... |
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On saying, that I will concede that I have seen some 'proper' quiches in French patisseries/boulangeries that looked like they'd been made with excellence. They looked like real food. I cried even more inside... |
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//microbes might be good for you// or you might be good for
the microbes. It's all the same in the end. |
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// he'd be having a quickie // |
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That was Bill Clinton, shirley ? |
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// What is it about Americans that they really do
not understand the basic concept of cheese? Or
chocolate? Or bacon? Or coffee? Or, indeed, taste?
// |
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"Swiss" is used here to indicate a general range of
cheeses. I am sorry if our particular idiosyncrasies
of nomenclature offend you. |
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We use Emmentaler. It's not just called that, it is
made in Switzerland. If I can't get the specific
cheese that I want, I usually settle for
handcrafted cheeses from the farmer's market. |
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I make bacon from organic bellies, Louisiana dome
salt, and Louisiana cane sugar. I also smoke them
myself (Pecan). |
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I drink Community coffee or buy arabica directly
from a dealer (also at my farmer's market) who
roasts it in small batches. |
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Having worked in restaurants in New Orleans most
of my young life, I know just a hell of a lot about
food. |
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One of the most important things I've learned is
that most food snobs and culinary elitists couldn't
*really* tell the difference between caviar and
bath beads, it's just something smaller people
from smaller countries do to feel superior without
even attempting to find good food in the U.S. |
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Food is not magic. There is good food in
practically every culture, if you know where to
find it. You obviously don't, which pretty much
means that you don't know what the fuck you're
talking about. |
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BTW, if you don't know why good Emmental is good,
you don't have sufficient discrimination to say
anything about taste. |
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Oh, yeah! I forgot to make sweeping
generalizations about British food - don't you guys
just boil everything without salt, throw it to the
dogs, and go out for a mayo sandwich and Indian
food? Are your cookbooks really pamphlets? Did
the British really colonize the world in search of a
good meal? |
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Or, as Jacques Chirac said, "You cannot trust
people who have such bad cuisine. It is the
country with the worst food after Finland.” |
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Why *do* you people hate food? |
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Bunch of shrimp-potting, marmite-licking, eel-
jellying, mash-banging dick-spotters, you would all
be eating schnitzel if it were not for US. |
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I 'eard dat youse guys doesn't like to taste fings. |
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Yay! A robust defense, and I laud you all. Now, if you can
persuade restaurants to go along with you... |
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I laud everyone as well - I've found myself thinking on the twin accusations laid against American and British food recently - having made them myself on occasion - and I think it boils down to the same thing. Roadside dining. |
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Different countries provide different tourist experiences - so if you are on a city-break, or are at a resort, you are likely to get a very different experience than if you are on a big cross-country jaunt. Now I don't know, but I think there is a tradition in the USA of doing a road-trip, and crossing vast tracts of land to see distantly placed landmarks, so the Grand Canyon is so many thousands of miles from Mount Rushmore, which is so many thousands of miles from The Golden Gate Bridge, which is a long way from Yellowstone Park, etc etc - so there is a high likelyhood of the traveller having to stop and eat at places like Denny's, or Arby's or Sonic, or IHeap or some other place that serves high-carb, fast, cheap, factory prepared food to people who don't know that 5 minutes off the highway, there's probably somewhere 'local' that puts a bit of pride in their food. |
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Similarly, the average traveller taking in Stonehenge, and whatever else people travel around to look at in the UK, is going to be lucky enough to visit a Little Chef, or if they're really lucky, one of our beautiful road-side services, wherin they can delight in a microwaved Ginsters pasty, or satisfy their cullinary urges on a fetid and limp Cod and Chips drowned in its own oil. |
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It's this commercialisation/ industrialisation/ homogenisation of food-for-travellers that's responsible for much of the "no-taste" accusations that abound. I'm not sure what the French, Germans, Belgians, Dutch, Italians etc have in terms of service-stations these days, but I very much doubt it is pasty-based. |
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//Now, if you can persuade restaurants// |
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Ha! And cut into their badly-conceived and
executed profit system? The problem with almost
all bad restaurants (everywhere) is that third-party
processed food is seen as a way to increase profits
by eliminating the labor cost of creating new
things from real food. With apologies to [21], this
idea is like a cancer wherever you go in the
States, and is the root of all of the legitimate
criticism of our food. |
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The sad part is that it's not true (and that that
sort of food is not actually American; I would
argue that soul food is the only uniquely American
cuisine). Restaurants end
up paying more for canned crap than they do for
labor costs, almost every time. |
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You know it's time to jump ship on a restaurant
when you see the products from a particular
company coming in. It means that the profits are
low (or that they've gone up someone's nose) and
that the owner is grasping around for ways to save
money. It never works. The quality goes down,
you lose customers, you lose staff, you lose
service, and that's it. |
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"Restaurants" like McDonald's make it work by
owning and controlling the whole thing vertically
and advertising, advertising. Some shrewd private
restaurant owners make it work by never
pretending that they're doing anything but
slopping hogs, and basically emulating McD's with
a lower profit margin. |
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But there are good restaurants pretty much
everywhere. Lola's, Porto, The Crescent, Vasquez,
Rickey, Mike's, and C&D are within 25 miles of my
home in BFE Louisiana. Portuguese, Panamanian,
Soul, Cuban, Barbecue (Louisiana) and Soul, all
from absolute scratch. |
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//But there are good restaurants pretty much everywhere.// |
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Not in half of the Midwest. We invented bland. |
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It's that work ethic that's brought us McDonalds ultimately. |
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The thing is, [nomo], that anyone coming to the States
(even pseudo-Merican like myself) will judge food based on
restaurants, street food and food shops. I have had very
few good experiences of any of those three, except in
Mexico, which probably doesn't count, although I haven't
visited all states. As far as I can tell, cheap restaurants
serve pretty predictable but acceptable cheap food. Mid-
range restaurants serve generic corporate food. Upper-
end restaurants (or at least those over $100 a head) in my
experience serve stuff which is oversized, over-presented,
tender as tofu and just as tasteless - it's all about
presentation and "status". |
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Street food - I haven't experienced that much, apart from
the obvious. It's pretty much what I'd expected. |
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Shops - yes, I'm sure there are some delis (in the true
sense) tucked away all over the place. But in europe,
even the mega-marts sell a spectrum from generic crap to
decent honest food, and there are still enough real
butchers, greengrocers, choclatiers, sweetshops, bakeries,
fishmongers, cheese shops and others that buying good
food is not like the search for Ark of the Covenant. Even
the farmer's markets in the parts of the states
I've been to seem to be selling more "supermarket style"
produce - fist-sized synthetic strawberries and perfect,
perfectly tasteless apples. |
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In the UK, first of all, we have no decent street food or
street culture - that's a given. We also have a fair share of
generic and just-plain-lousy restaurants, and those in the
middle range tend to be overpriced for what they are.
However, we also have a huge number of world class
restaurants (by whatever criterion you want to judge them
- awards or reputations). This is in addition to the wide
availability of good ingredients. |
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So, [nomo], I'm happy for the UK to be judged, culinarily,
on the basis of the food available to everyone in its
restaurants and shops, since that is probably all you are
likely to experience here as a visitor, and all that most
people will eat while living here. I'm sure that an
enthusiast can track down decent ingredients and prepare
decent food in the US (or in Guatemala, Bratislava or
Basingstoke), but that does not, to be honest, count for
much when I am trying to make a sweeping generalization. |
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How did you find food in England, out of curiosity? (And no
points will be awarded for the reply "I just looked until I
saw a restaurant.") |
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//I took a leak next to Ron Jeremy and he started crying//
That's 'cause you pissed on his shoes!
//Bunch of shrimp-potting, marmite-licking, eel- jellying, mash-banging dick-spotters//
Guilty as charged (well, mostly).
//In the UK...we have no decent street food//
Oh yes we do. Bakers shops. |
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