Polynocchio

Whether polygraph tests work or not is not a subject of consideration for this bit of half-bakery. Generally the results of a polygraph test look something like a seismograph. A geologist in the same room as a hooked up salesman would be nervously looking for a load-bearing doorway.

But I am not concerned with scientists. I am concerned with all sorts of tomfoolery and obtuseness. I propose a device that straps onto the subject's face with the output at the nose. When the device determines a lie, an air pump or mechanical device inflates/extends a rubber latex proboscis. The subject gets a sense of being old Pine Eyes himself.

Could also be useful for those same law enforcement officials trying to pick up a date. Since their machismo might be derived from a lack of something else, they strap it on elsewhere and tell all sorts of lies. Sorry, I've said too much...