Pocket Ninjas

Recently some friends of mine were sitting on the porch knocking back a few beers and tossing ideas back and forth on how best to surprise and over-come their personal defenses to destroy and/or humilliate. Some of the ideas were: an RPG at 100 yards, claymores in your bed, replacing tap-water with acid (not LSD) and the worst: Being assaulted by aging United States Senators in clown-suits (just picture it).

This conversation reminded me of an event earlier this year when, as a gag, one of my classmates here at school gave his best friend a small plastic ninja and told him that if he did not pay it ample amounts of bribery that it would kill him. The best friend kept that ninja in the breast pocket of a suit-jacket that he wears every day along with a twenty-dollar bill.

The inspiration came to me after the first conversation I related was long over. Why not create a consumer good sold in those same plastic egg-shaped objects that you find in the $0.50 toy dispensers at groceries and mini-mals which is a tiny plastic golem whose sole duty is to assasinate one person of your designation. Morbid, I know. But think of the uses! Young persons of questionable morals could deal out their retribution in style with their very own personal Ninja!

The one restriction would be that batteries are not included. Perhaps that is too frustrating.... I suppose we could stock-pile the proper size battery somewhere in orbit around Neptune for the day when the world is ready for such a massively powerful tiny plastic assasination force....

Limit: One per customer