h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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The office trainee put on the protective brush clothing and slipped head-first into a polycarbonate tube about 2ft diameter. The assistant closed the hatch and pressed 'start'.
The air valve opened, and the fan blasted air into the end of the tube. After countless loops and turns, vertical rides
over buildings and fly-pasts through the local mall, the trainee arrived at a receiving chamber, where air flow slowed down and he fell onto a soft bed.
The air flow stopped, and the trainee stepped out into the mail room.
"Here, could you sign for this? Are you sure there isn't anything else you want...please? It's no trouble. No trouble at all."
Pneuman
http://www.berrysme...infeld/newmanwv.htm
Also known as Wayne Knight, the human cleaning plug, when not doing Seinfeld re-runs. [jurist, Jul 18 2005]
Other personal service
Curb_20Side_20Blow_20Job
[theircompetitor, Jul 18 2005]
Lay vs. Lie, a link for Ling
http://www.uottawa....ammar/confverb.html
There you have it. Explained. [neilp, Jul 19 2005]
Crystal Palace Atmospheric Railway
http://www.loveplum...CrystalPalace1.html
Whole offices of trainees could deliver personally, then. [Dub, Nov 02 2005]
Direct link to pneumatic railway at Crystal Palace
http://fdelaitre.club.fr/Crystal.htm
[Ling, Nov 03 2005]
[link]
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//polycarbonate tube about 2ft diameter//That's a small office trainee you've got there [Ling]! |
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// After countless loops and turns, vertical rides over buildings and flypasts through the local mall// |
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"here, let me just wipe that gloop off of your mail for you" |
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-Get in the tube Mike!
-But Boss, there's a blockage! I'll be crushed!
-That'll teach you to go to the Halfbakery during work hours! Get in!
-But-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- [His screams are abruptly halted as he slams into a thick iron bar at 250km/h.] |
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Not through the turns where everyones' noses are pressed to the tube. Ugh. |
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Also available for immediate installation at your nearest theme park.
I think appropriate clothing protection (hat, gloves) could take care of unwanted friction burns. But I suppose that different sized riders could lie* in a transport device.
Regarding gloop and other debris: a cleaning device could be occasionaly sent up the tube.
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//a cleaning device could be occasionaly sent up the tube// Ling, I think you covered that with the "office trainee" part. |
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"Hey Charlie...Remember when you asked me how a bullet comes out of a gun?..." |
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Dear Consumer,
There seems to be a pre-occupation with the danger of this conveying system. Pneumanic Systems Inc. denies that there is any risk associated with any of its products. All rumours are unfounded; the result of over-active imaginations. Any further enquiries can be discussed in person by riding the nearest tube to "Pneumanic Systems Complaints Department". We promise there are no iron bars in the tube. In fact we send a trainee* up the tube regularly to check. |
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*any mess is cleaned up immediately** |
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**of course, there isn't any mess*** |
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***we wouldn't lie to you, would we? |
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Hmm... should it be "lay"? Somehow, it doesn't sound right, to me. Are there any pedants who would care to explain? |
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Ah, so I stand corrected. Thanks. |
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This was a bar conversation we had with some folks years ago... except pill-like pods were used and it was for super-quick bar hopping. i.e. Our bars close at 2am but "afterhours" clubs only open 'til 3am. + |
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Baked back in 1864 - Crystal Palace? [Link] |
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Dub, I stayed at Dulwich Wood Park Road, during my Undergraduate years, which is shown on the map. I sure would have appreciated the tube from Crystal Palace back then, instead of cycling into central London every day. |
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Sorry, it was a (very) bad pun on 'manic'
But I think you knew that, right? |
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"Excuse the vomit on your packages please
sir" not such a great idea |
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Anyone remember what happens when someone gets stuck in a waterslide? LOL |
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