h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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Many people chew chewing gum. Although it almost immediately
marks them out as mentally defective, this habit has a potential
advantage.
MaxCo. is working on a long-lasting gum containing a moderate
number of sand-grain-sized piezoelectric crystals. The act of
chewing will repeatedly compress
and relax these crystals, each of
which will temporarily develop a high voltage across its faces.
Cunningly designed dental fillings (ask your dentist about MaxCo
filling options) act as contacts, collecting this voltage and feeding
it,
via discreetly and painlesslessly-implanted wires, to a conveniently
accessible 3.5mm skull-mounted jack-socket, for powering your
iPod, iPhone, iPad or, with a suitable adaptor, any less perfect
electronic device.
"Ah", I hear you say "but surely the piezoelectric crystals will be
oriented randomly, and hence their voltages will cancel out?" (I
have
remarkably good hearing.)
Not so! The gum itself is only moderately conductive, and the
fillings carry, on their surface, an array of minuscule contacts.
Hence, each crystal will deliver its voltage primarily to just one
contact; rectifiers and other cunning devices then ensure that the
voltages from all the contacts add, rather than cancelling.
Initial tests are promising. When we gave the beta-version to our
in-
house tester, his little eyes lit up.
[link]
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// his little eyes lit up. // |
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That would be the Gallium Arsenide Phosphide gum, then. |
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Baked? - What's wrong with leaving the foil wrapping on the (normal) gum, before chewing?
(Lemon-flavoured chewing gum seems to work best) |
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sp: "Piece o' Electric Chewing Gum." |
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piezolectric bun for cleverness. |
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Are any piezolectric crystals even remotely safe to put in your mouth? and second the transfer efficiency of piezoelectric effects are so small you would probably get a bigger voltage drop from galvanic corrosion of the wires. |
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piezolectric materials only release a small small fraction of the load as electric electricity over a very small (relative to thickness) displacement. |
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however you could create piezolectric lipstick and then buzz your lips all day, at least then no one would think you're crazy and the cells would respond better to harmonic vibration. |
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//Are any piezolectric crystals even remotely safe to put in
your mouth?// |
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I'm not aware of any that *aren't* safe to put in your mouth.
Gritty, maybe, but not dangerous. |
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Sugar is piezoelectric, I think. |
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There are some mints, Wintergreen Lifesavers, I recall, and sugar cubes, too, that will actually flash if you crush them hard enough (pliers in the dark), but not sure if that is piezo. |
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Get a click-start cigarette lighter and take it apart if you want a piezo crystal for cheap. |
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Most useful crystals are quartz or something similar, I think, so yeah, suck on that. |
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(But if sugar is piezoelectric, other organic crystals may be also, with varying opinions as to which ones are safe.) |
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Lifesavers are triboluminescent (meaning the crystals give off light when crushed), not piezoelectric (which means they create a voltage when squished.) |
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This seems pretty cool, actually. |
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//This seems pretty cool, actually// |
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Oh, puleeze. This is the dumbest idea I have read in quite
some time, even including those here on the HB. [-] |
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...Isn't this your own idea? |
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*Is confused. Then again, doesn't know much about electricity.* |
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I knew I should have read it more carefully. Bipolar is two for
the price of one. |
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