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Phone Calls for Dummies

 hands-free, lips-free ventriloquism
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No more looking like Joe Blow with your hand at your ear, or like the village idiot seemingly talking to yourself, when you use your mobile phone. Look smart with a dummy on your knee, who'll look into your eyes and hang on your every word.

The lightweight doll is constructed of balsa wood and carbon fiber, papier-mache. The telephone of your choice is placed in its chest cavity. Your voice is transmitted from its ears to the phone, and the phone output is relayed to a speaker behind the jaw that then moves. The happy face rotates towards you, when speaking or hearing your voice.

A volume dial allows whispering confidential calls, and Velcro on the hands and feet allow the dummy to hang on your neck and/or waist when strolling. Make a style statement and never be alone again with your lip-syncing cellmate.

—FarmerJohn, Feb 05 2003

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       It's really just a very, *very* big hands-free kit, isn't it?
Monumentally silly!
—angel, Feb 05 2003
   

       Will this have a false arm that looks like it's up the dummy's jumper?
—oneoffdave, Feb 05 2003
   

       Oh no, John. No John. No John. No!
—DrBob, Feb 05 2003
   

       Yes John, YES! This is fantastic, I don't own or like mobile phones, but I want one of these. You weird bastard.
—RoboBust, Feb 05 2003
   

       I think you've misunderstood. You speak normally to the phone dummy; it answers it elf with moving "lips".
—FarmerJohn, Feb 05 2003
   

       how would your mate feel about you bringing your phone down to the pub? might warrant some odd questions.
—rbl, Feb 05 2003
   

       It would be Ok as long as the dummy bought its own round, shirley ?
—8th of 7, Feb 05 2003
   

       <pounces on ambiguity> What, a whole family of dummies?
—egbert, Feb 05 2003
   

       you can go in the carpool lanes while talking on (or to) your dummy phone. what a bonus (unless it really needs to sit on your lap, the police may object). Anything that makes cell phones less convenient is a good idea.
—rbl, Feb 05 2003
   


 

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