Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Phone Pistol

Point at phone, pull trigger, phone rings. Barrel goes to your ear, speak in grip.
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See an attractive person in the auto next to you? Point and pull trigger. If a phone is in the car, it will ring and you can talk...or not. Standing in line while clerk gives the telephone callers priority? Call and state your case.

Attachments:

1. Phone-killer. Renders telephone inoperable for a period of time (dialed into timer on pistol). 2. Spray attachment. Point pistol straight up, all phones within 100 yards ring at once. Great in theaters, restuarants, at concerts, etc.

Drawbacks: Police may rush you, or worse, shoot you. Suggest optional "Pork Chop Cover".

melanerpes, Apr 18 2001

RFSafe http://www.rfsafe.com
Be RF safe with your cell phone [tngstud69, Apr 18 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       Very nice indeed. I'll take two, both with Pork Chop Safety Covers, please. Will someone make the inevitable Sex Pistol joke so my neuron can get back to more useful work?
Dog Ed, Apr 18 2001
  

       The stinkin' phones have no say in this. The pistol sends out the rays, the phones have to ring or vibrate, if that's their thing. Similarly, your voice (if you want to talk) is sent in a straight line to the target phone. It doesn't matter if it's a cell phone or a can with a string.   

       Should we make work on car alarms, too?   

       Wait a minute...Sex Pistol? How's that work?
melanerpes, Apr 19 2001
  

       the sex pistols are a musical band
dr_photon, Mar 14 2002
  

       Mildly funny. But if the HB book ever becomes a reality then the posting will be there. For posterity. Or something.
mrthingy, Mar 15 2002
  

       This is technically doable, but the market is so limited it would be outrageously expensive for practical jokes.   

       You'll get more laughs with fake vomit.
whlanteigne, Jan 07 2013
  
      
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