h a l f b a k e r yNot so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.
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Arrange all the Halfbakers into a big table, according to properties and behavioural patterns. Define and position your symbol.
The further down a group, the more strongly the description relates
Bakers further left tend to be more violent and opinionated, bakers further right generally
more objective
Group 1: Bakers often react violently to controversial ideas or criticism
Transition Bakers: Mostly newbies, transition bakers haven't yet firmly established themselves on the 'bakery. Position (left - right) indicates any current leanings
Group 7: Bakers have the power to displace lesser bakers. Most moderators
Group 0: Noble bakers. Intelligent bakers often take neutral standpoint, offering advice and help. Rarely violent
Lanthanoids & Actinoids: Bakers that don't really fit in anywhere in particular but have leanings towards certain groups & positions
Webelements
http://www.webelements.com
Choose your element [NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Strontium/Strontian
http://www.curriehj....co.uk/strontia.htm
The West Highland Connection. [calum, Aug 18 2002]
Tellurium for TeaTotal
http://mineral.gall...lluriu/telluriu.htm
unless she dislikes garlic [po, Aug 18 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Have a look round here
http://www.rsc.org/periodic-table
[angel, Aug 19 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Governmentium
http://www.vlrc.org/articles/28.html
I put the 'mentium' in governing. [pathetic, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Strontium Dog
http://www.strontiu...er.co.uk/chars.html
For my face your. Not really relevant but it just jogged some pleasant memories. [DrBob, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
The *Real* Periodic Table
http://www.bbc.co.u...ies1/periodic.shtml
courtesy of 'Look around You' [gnomethang, Jan 08 2006]
[link]
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I think I'll have to take good ol' technetium (Tc) Unfortunately, that falls into Group 7.. |
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The symbol has to be Ps2. Definitely on the right-hand side towards the bottom (strongly objective), and I'll kill anyone who disagrees. |
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PB for me. I'm soft and dense. |
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No 84, metal and completely boring. |
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[p] and you are easily led |
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po - you mean 'bohring', yes? |
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yes waugs, and I am fairly stable. |
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Hangs to the left
Wx = Waxium
Ct = Croissant
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Element 87 - Francium. Group 1. Alkali metal,
reacts violently - and radioactive to boot. A
real hard electron donor and major-league
reducing agent ... |
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Yup, that's us ... but Francium ? We can't
stand the French .... can we call it Borgium ? |
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Slightly fizzy, glowing croissant. |
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8th of 7, that does not make you 87. rather you are 8th row on column 7 or 7th row on column 8 which are both rare earths. not a bad thing to be, soft and malleable. |
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Well, I must be element 21, Scandium, a transition metal. The oxide is a weak base but with a melting point of K 1812, bonding radius of A 1.44 and a boiling point of K 3104, that makes me pretty hot to trot and under the collar. |
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I spy a Lewes connection in that link Nicky boy. Spookier and spookier! |
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How about a laughing gas? |
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N2O left under a cloud I am afraid |
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Where the hell do I go?
( I never was any good at chemistry ) |
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Gotta be Fe. Main component to Steel. Been in a million different jobs, and moldable if well-heated, but often cold and hard. A wanna-be magnet, and always losing track of its electrons. |
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Can I be magnesium? It glows when you flame it and gives you the puns, I mean runs, to boot. |
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[kaz] the best place for you is Potassium. (K comes in at 19) - soft, silvery-white, gets a little silly in the water. |
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W - tungsten... I light up the room. |
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UB I knew you had been around for a while but not *that* long. |
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half-thank you, my half-dear. what is the half-life of a halfbaker, I half-wonder. |
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A quarterbaker, of course |
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Darn it. I haven't been discovered yet. |
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Strontium, from the West Highlands. Second group, three from the bottom. The symbol is Sr, so it may be more appropriate for salachair. |
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I'm afraid I'm a compound. |
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I'll be #39, Y (for Yttrium). Why? Just because. |
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link. strange girl, Te was made for you.. |
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I'm definitely Molybdenum which appropriately enough
has the atomic number 42. I'm a silvery-white, hard,
transition metal apparently. |
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I would like to be number 73, tantalum, because it sounds like it keeps you guessing. |
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I'd really like to be Angelium, but, to date, it hasn't been discarvard. I could be silver (Ag) but that's a bit pretentious. I think I'll be Tin (soft and pliable, but not much use), partly because of the tin mines in Cornwall. |
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No, because then I'd be aluminium (symbol Al). |
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Aaarg.. covert Tom Lehrer quote... Must.. resist.. urge.. to post.. entire.. song's.. lyrics.. |
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I wanna be the big O. (You know why.) |
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XSX, You're explosively combustible?
You like hanging out with a copy of yourself?
You're mouth often forms that shape in disbelief at our sillyness?
You and a friend like to steal electrons from unsuspecting carbon atoms?
You like rust? |
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Well then I'm S, because that's what makes the big O SO. |
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But S can bond with multiple O's simultaneously ... <snigger> dative covalent bonding - electron pair donor ... </snigger> |
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Hg is right for me, probably . . . |
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quicksilver... hmmm... reflective, poisonous, useful for gaging the temperature, and makes for great shape-shifting special effects; yeah I can see that match-up.
But then there's that high density factor to mess it all up.
<aside>Do you find it odd that 'air-headed' is synonymous with 'dense?'</aside> |
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Well, I don't know about the shape-shifting part but the rest sounds right. |
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Why hasn't [Helium] posted to this one yet, I wonder? I get to be Sillycon. |
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Hi, [bz], how's ya doin'? |
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Damn! I was gonna bagsie Mercury. Surprisingly heavy and OK in small doses. |
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...but ultimately resulting in dementia? |
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Hi. I'm Californium - an excellent source of neutrons, you know - they don't call me Cf for nuthin' (?)
*ahem* Po is Polonium |
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thumb, I thought I had already claimed no 84? |
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i'm carbon - i have many uses, i can appear in many different forms, i bond easily with others, and sometimes i really shine. :o) |
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i'm surprised that nobody has chosen hf ---> hafnium. |
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I'm going to make up R to wind up chemists by being confused with a carbon chain... what do you mean there are rules about that sort of thing? |
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[UnaBubba]: [bristolz] has a flaky crust? |
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Robert, you could always take Kr, krypton. 'Fraid it isn't very exciting, unless you run a charge through it, or if you happen to be Superman. |
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"Oxygen in excited states is responsible for the bright red and yellow-green colours of the aurora." |
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Wow, who knew I could emit colors while excited? |
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But he never said anything. See my comments in the appropriate environment re: cannons and jousting. With oxygen being so combustible, though, I don't know if I really should. |
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[angel]: I AM a flaky crust. |
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it supports combustion - sounds like a bra. |
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Are we suppose to make up elements or associate ourselves with existing ones? |
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[bz]: Better than being a crusty flake. |
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Po - you described No. 84 as completely boring - since that doesn't describe Polonium *at all* - nor explain your bluish glow - I think you ought to read your biography. |
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Barnzenen: you can make up your own if you're feeling creative; otherwise just associate yourself (yes, you can be a compound... but it's not so easy).
I was under the impression Po was the red teletubby - wouldn't tinky-winky have a bluish glow?
Oh, and I'm having Nickel (Ni), for obvious reasons. Only qualm is the transition position, implying newbiness. Could be Nitrogen (N), I suppose. Better location if nothing else. |
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Or maybe Neon ? Equally lightweight, colourless, odourless, usefull only for producing tacky advertising .... but Noble, none the less. |
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Alright, I'll be Berylium [Be]. I resist corruption (oxidation) at normal temps and with a little help from some friends I can cause some real damage, if need be. I am generally available and easy to get to. I can't really find anything else that sounds like me...but I thought I would be more to the right. I don't know, what do yall think? |
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<bathed in a sinister blue glow> (TinkyWinky is purple) apparently Po is used as heat source for spaceships - I keep spacemen warm, hey thats nice. </bathed in a sinister blue glow> |
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Guess I'm out there somwhere in the transuranides. There are a couple of people here we could assign to Holmium, and a couple more to Bismuth, but that wouldn't be very nice. |
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[ravenswood], according to Oliver Sacks in his book "Uncle Tungsten" (a great read btw), a xenon-filled balloon is about as close to a lead balloon as one can get. |
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atomic number 40, which by a feat of serendipity renders me a transition baker. Excellent. Have a french cultral food product for setting this up for me! |
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(also it's good because, like, transuranic heavy elements may not be used where there is life.) |
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Zirconium is a getter in vacuum tubes, amongst *many* other things. |
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That purpose alone warrants my thanks for its existence, I being the tube nut that I am. |
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ummm, bc, see waugsqueke's second annotation. |
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"Charlie was a chemist
But Charlie is no more
What Charlie thought was H20
Was H2S04." |
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<Been wanting to use that somewhere since I saw your username, and this seems perfect.> |
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Tigranium, Symbol SC: Under some circumstances, scintillates brilliantly, usually a mix of black and white. Reacts violently to Trollium. |
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Hmm, so if my cat got on here and posted nasty remarks to you [SC}, would he be considered petrollium? That would be a gas. |
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Such a joke. I thought you were more refined than that... |
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Well, shows you what you get for thinking. |
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Lithium (Li) for me – for buoyancy if nothing else. Not to mention my childhood attempt at making Au from Li – a tad too radioactive. |
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Erbium (Er), a rare earth element, seems about right for me. Soft and malleable, yet bright and fairly stable. Of course, my properties depend on impurities found. |
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I don't mean to be negative, I'm just saying you could be nobelium (No). It's as good as any - or choose your own. |
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I'd shirly like to be Dubnium. I like the way it sounds. And is somewhat appropriate: useless, and pretty much nothing is known about it since it doesn't occur in nature (I'm fairly sure I was created by some industrial accident). |
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does this table have a ridiculous layout that 'proves' that a certain baker can be destroyed by another due to his/her position on the table (a la Evolution)? god damn, i hate that stupid movie. |
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No, but you really wouldn't want to use shampoo on most of them. |
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Wouldn't *need* to use it on some of them. |
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I'd like to claim HB element 'Jb' = Inebrium. |
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Noted for
i)special compounds with alcohols of all sorts
ii) being very fizzy when mixed with the right company
iii) while normally very stable, can become volatile on a dance floor - especially in situations involving (iii) {and (i)} |
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(Oh dear, reading that back it looks like a sad chemist's 'personal' ad) |
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{later: oops, it was meant to be i) but iii) adds to the instability} |
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Nice recursion on item (iii) |
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<déjà vu> Strontium - the Ardnamurchan connection </déjà vu> |
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Lanthanoid: skinsideupflapium, 59 through 61. |
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Instead of the numbers of electrons in the shells (2, 8, 8, 14, 5, 2) you could put that halfbaker's halfbakerism codes (n+++, e--, p+, G++) in each square. |
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I'll take Cesium and join the room-temperature liquid metallics. |
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<gangster on> You'll never take us alive, Copper! </gangster off> |
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Mercury. aka Quicksilver. |
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[Foxy], I am sorry, but you cannot have a big Hg. May I suggest Boron? Or Plumbumb? |
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Erbium is used for doping fiber optics amplifier loops, [World]. It's very clever. |
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Can I be nothing (Ng). See Link. |
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[notme] Can I be Dubnium, please? The Mass seems about right too. |
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I guess I would be Tritium, or Deuterium but maybe due to the way people want me gone I may be more of a plutonium 238 due to lethal levels of radiation. |
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Whatever your rudeness flavor is, you'll have a short half life. |
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//I guess I would be Tritium// No, you would be a piece of
half chewed gum left by a teenage troll on the underside of
the table itself. |
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Gum is mostly a hydrocarbon. Hydrogen and carbon? |
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Aww, [trav], that's not true. We'd just prefer it if you
had never been here, that's all. |
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What ever happened to Timonium? |
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