Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Peeping Tool

Portable laparoscope for grocery examination
 
(+9, -9)
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Don’t you just hate when you come home with the bacon, open the package and discover that it’s 90% fat? The 10% meat was seen through the small, clear plastic window at the store, but the rest was ingeniously hidden by opaque packaging. Surreptitious use of the hand-held, easily maneuvered laparoscope will eliminate the uncertainty of shopping.

A 5mm incision is made in the package, a sterile catheter is inserted, a puff of carbon dioxide inflates the package for better viewing, a mini, video camera with light source is introduced and, after control of the contents via an LCD on the back of the hand, the incision is sealed with a drop of fast-acting super glue. With practice, the routine becomes quite fast: cut-puff-view-seal, cut-puff-view-seal… Of course with time, you’ll discover many other uses such as checking the greenness of frozen peas or finding the right toy in the cereal boxes.

FarmerJohn, Jun 08 2002

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       Sorry, I just don't trust you (or anyone else) to be clean enough to touch my food.
phoenix, Jun 08 2002
  

       what phoenix said and total lack of practicality.
runforrestrun, Jun 08 2002
  

       [total lack of practicality] I'm proud to say that this would apply to all my halfbaked ideas.
FarmerJohn, Jun 08 2002
  

       Just buy your meat at the butchers'.
DrCurry, Jun 08 2002
  

       A croissant for this idea and its total lack of practicality.   

       Perhaps the laparoscope could come with a set of use-once sheathes to prevent you from contaminating any food.
wiml, Jun 09 2002
  

       Can you look at the deli counterman's appendix too if you want to?
magrak, Jun 09 2002
  

       Much better, FarmerJohn.   

       As phoenix says, I don't trust most people to handle their OWN food, let alone mine...
StarChaser, Jun 10 2002
  

       Put whatever on your shoulder and burp it. If it sounds good, it probably is.
Your grocier's must be more tolerant of package tampering than mine.
reensure, Jun 10 2002
  

       the total lack of practicality thing ;-)   

       1) well, it takes me less than 20 minutes to do my shopping for one month...doing this would increase my shopping time and who wants that?   

       2) can you imagine how crowded a grocery store would be if everyone were doing this?   

       3) Eventually, there are going to be packages with 50 holes in them....and who's gonna' buy that?   

       4) would *you* buy an orange or apple that bliss and 10 other people had put holes in?   

       If ya' don't like the bacon you bought, cook it, give it to the dogs as treats, and change brands.   

       How about just suggestion that all foods come in see-through packaging? A little more practical..... <grin>
runforrestrun, Jun 10 2002
  

       //20 minutes to do my shopping for one month//
Half your luck; I take 20 minutes per *week*, and I buy meat, vegetables and wine online!
angel, Jun 11 2002
  

       Or that hermetically sealed carton of butter that's been held in cold storage for years 'till it looks (And tastes) like soap. Super market eggs , spare ribs,and bacon are also stored in cold storage facilitys.for eternity, them dumped to the consumers when demand exceeds the available supply.(Marked down)
bluto, May 17 2003
  
      
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