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OKVesuvius
An online dating site that matches people based on data collected by the NSA | |
There are a lot of lonely people in the U.S. Regular dating sites are
full of liars and fake profiles. OKVesuvius would eliminate this
because all your information would come from what the NSA
collected about you. With help from algorithms on their quantum
computer (which is code named Vesuvius)
it could bring people
together who never thought they had so much in common. The
service could get so good that the government could charge a
monthly fee for it, generating badly needed revenue.
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Annotation:
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I don't know about the US, but I'm not sure I'd trust
the UK government. If they can't get my tax code
right on the second attempt, I'm not sure I'd trust
them vis a vis my sexual orientation. |
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Vesuvius is the quantum computer the NSA is building in Utah that's supposed to be able to crack every type of encryption. |
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No one really wants to date someone thats right for
them. We always want somone a little bit better
don't we? |
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I used to store very candid but exculpatory details
in my okcupid answers, on the hope that it could
come in handy if colleagues were trying to dig up
dirt on me. |
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I ended up taking them down though mainly
because most preliminary digging must be done by
bots, and I tend to think the do a lousy job of
profiling me. |
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// able to crack every type of encryption // |
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"Cracking encryption" isn't the problem, as
one-time pads are literally uncrackable, no
matter how many PetaFlops you throw at the
problem. |
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The problem is actually one of detecting the
messages of interest in the huge volumes of
data shunted round your planet every
microsecond. A bit of basic steganography is
more than good enough to defeat the
snoopers. |
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So the NSA (who'd have thought that Scrabble
players could raise that much money??) fund the
development of a super duper quantum computer. |
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This leads to the accelerated development of cheap
consumer models, capable of implementing
quantum encryption. |
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// who'd have thought that Scrabble players
could raise that much money?? // |
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"CROWDFUNDING" … 26 points, and on a
triple word score, so that's 78. |
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