h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Hollywood is having a creativity problem. Their movies
have such big budgets they need to hedge their bets by
simply re-doing successful movies that have already been
done. They're called "franchises" or "reboots" but I think
they should be called "shit".
So here's the idea, though I wouldn't
be surprised if they
already do this.
Categorize all movies by points that can be digitized.
Protagonist, character arc, plot points, third act twists
etc. such than you can mix the movies together with a
computer program.
So you'd just click "Moby Dick" and "Dirty Harry" and you'd
get a story about a rogue river patrol cop who plays by
his
own rules hunting down a whale that's been swimming up
his river and wrecking stuff. The whale might be trained
to
smuggle drugs or something and he gets really mad and
sinks ships.
This plot grinder would be the perfect match to the
random action movie name generator. Let's pick a name
for
our Dirty Harry / Moby Dick mashup.
"Quadruple Conquest"... no,
"Soldier of Extremism", hmm. Closer I guess.
"War For Punishment". Don't mind that one.
"Triple Revenge". Eh.
"Double Risk", that's interesting.
LOL, "Duke of Retreat", that's just wrong. Spin
again.
"Sudden Execution." Ooo, I like that.
Ok, last try. Aaaaand we have a winner! The story about
a
rogue river cop and a crazy drug smuggling whale is
called:
"Maximum Danger".
Point is, Hollywood could save a lot of time just having
computers churn out this shit.
Movie name generator.
https://phrasegenerator.com/actionmovies
Also has a great political rhetoric, financial advice, academic quote and wine review generator, [doctorremulac3, Oct 16 2017]
book generator
http://www.skincluster.com/mixer/
You can make a Moby Hill, or Fanny Dick. [mylodon, Oct 17 2017]
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//So you'd just click "Moby Dick" and "Dirty Harry" and you'd get a story about a rogue river patrol cop who plays by his own rules hunting down a whale that's been swimming up his river and wrecking stuff. The whale might be trained to smuggle drugs or something and he gets really mad and sinks ships. // |
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I think you've identified the problem right there, [doc]. |
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... or you could just watch films made in not-Hollywood, where the
actors are a lot cheaper so there's some budget left over for the
script. |
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... that is a theory I have not seen born out. Cheap local movies made on the fly are often, and predominantly, bad. |
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Do AI actors dream of exposing their directors casting
couch fantasies? |
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No, they dream of electric sheep, shirley ... ? |
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you always have to make it dirtier |
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//... or you could just watch films made in
not-Hollywood, where the actors are a lot cheaper
so there's some budget left over for the script// |
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I've seen a couple of Film Festival movies.
Yeeeeeikes! |
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I realized there's a ranking in Hollywood as to
social status: |
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1- Studio owners.
2- Film producers but only when they're making
money.
3- Actors, see #2.
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
9-
10- Film viewers. |
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Not sure what 4 thorugh 9 are but we aren't there. |
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On second thought, I've had some of my music of in
a couple of
Hollywood movies, I might be a 9.9999, although
my name is always listed at the very end of the
credits after Key Grip and Best Boy whatever that
is. Knowing Hollywood I'm guessing you might not
want to be a Best Boy. Unless you're into that sort
of thing. |
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I remember sitting in the theater with my
girlfriend once waiting for the credits to scroll up
showing my name and the lights had come on and
the theater emptied before it finally rolled by. By
that time we're the only ones in the cinema
looking kind of foolish sitting there. I don't think
the "That's right baby, I'm a star!" message came
off too well. |
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A friend of mine just suggested “Fins Up” as the title of my
Dirty Harry / Moby Dick movie. |
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// my Dirty Harry / Moby Dick movie // |
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Just be glad they didn't suggest "Dirty ..." - no, on second thoughts, forget it. |
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He also proposed "Something Fishy In Tuna Town"
and
I suggested that might have already been used in
another genre. |
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Ok, well... it's probably time to stop talking. Some
conversations need an eject button and this is one
of
them. |
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Thanks you folks, good night. Management
apologizes for any inconvenience. Please leave the
building in an orderly fashion and address
complaints to the head office in Omaha. |
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