h a l f b a k e r yNumber one on the no-fly list
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"Tandem jumpers face opposite directions"
Is this strictly limited to missionary style? |
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Perhaps 'Reverse Cowgirl' and timed to coincide with landing? |
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How does landing work if the tandem couple are facing opposite directions? The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind. |
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I suspect you'd need an auto-deploy mechanism. It's one thing to be late for work after losing track of time in the throes of passion, but forgetting to open the 'chute is a bigger issue. |
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//The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.// [marked-for-tagline] |
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There is a not insignificant problem of the crotch
strap to deal with as the link amply demonstrates. |
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I have seen a video of some nude skydivers - your tender bits tend to flap around a great deal, which may discourage the desired goal. |
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I've been resisting posting an idea I had for a line of hiking clothing designed to facilitate outdoor sex - breakaway panels, inflatable zones designed for cushioning and protection against brambles, which could be inflated by CO2 cartridge. |
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Perhaps some variant on that idea could be utilized to facilitate this. Possibly a jumpsuit that two people can fit into that can split apart later for landing. |
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Slightly more than two words: Slightly different
deceleration rates due to play in the harness. |
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This gives a whole new outlook on "operator-induced oscillation" issues. |
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(edit) Hey, wait a minute...what is this doing in other:general? |
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//worry enough about birds splattering on me as they fly
over.// |
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If you worry about birds splattering you while you have sex,
then obviously* the solution is to have sex at high altitude,
above the height at which birds fly. |
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*in the halfbakery sense of "obviously," obviously. |
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Someones penis WILL be torn off. |
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I'm trying to understand 'facing opposite directions'...Is that just some strange way of saying 'facing each other'? |
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Back to back seems so inconvenient... |
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There's a potential problem in that lady skydivers always
wear knickers. Otherwise they'd whistle. |
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Not if the noise-making section of said woman is,
how do you say, occluded. |
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You just say "luded" but say "occ" just before it. |
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A fine explanation, as 'luded' is quite firmly planted in
my lexicon. |
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Why is it necessary to be in tandem? |
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Someones penis WILL be torn off. [+] |
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And land on that women's head, who cut off her
husband's years ago...whatever her name is...I
forgot. |
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If the vinegar strokes prevent you from pulling the ripcord, you may end up joining the flatinum club. |
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[bliss...] If ever there was a case for nominative determinism! Her name was Lorena Bobbit... |
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Playboy's Little Annie Fanny cartoon did this 'way back when I was reading the articles (May, 1980, apparently) . The term "airgasm" was used (Google that for some related ideas). |
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And that was done with relative work. |
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For those who don't skydive, relative work is when two or more very skilled independent jumpers maneuver around relative to each other while falling. |
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Tandem jumping, on the other hand, is when two jumpers, one experienced, the other a complete novice, share a parachute and some of the harnesses. The two are strapped together while standing, both facing Mecca, with the pro's proddy bits at the novice's rear, and everyone pretends it isn't kinky. |
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[DIYMatt] is suggesting the novice be female and turn around before strapping together. It would probably work, and has probably been done. |
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// Her name was Lorena Bobbit[t] // |
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I had never looked up that case before. It turns out the
incident occurred on the same day as I was born! |
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