h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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"Hey, you look like you could use a nice glass of lemonade." "Why, thank you ma'am. Yes , it is indeed hot work." "Well, if you want to take off your shirt to cool down a little, that would be fine." "Again, I thank you ma'am. That feels nice." pause...
pause...
Well, I guess I'll
get back to work now."
"Are you sure? I mean, okay, yes. I suppose that would be best."
Has this ever happened to you? Has your handyperson, mechanic, pool-person, arborist, etc... totally miss the blatant sexual clues you were trying to send out? Are you left with that oh-so-common disappointed feeling of dissatisfaction? Then this is the product for you!
Introducing the Lemonade Tray of Seduction- a surefire way to let your hired help know that you want some and you want some now! A slightly thicker tray than normal, it comes with a MP3 player built in, a super thin speaker lining the bottom, and a subtle start button under where you would place the glass of refreshing liquid. As soon as you take the glass of lemonade off the tray the MP3 player will start playing classically bad porn music to clue the recipient into what's *really* going on.
"Well, if you want to take off your shirt to cool down a little, that would be fine."
"Again, I thank you ma'am. That feels nice."
<music starts>chicka-chicka-peow chicka-chicka-peow <ms>
"What say you and me goes upstairs?"
You: "That would be just fine."
The Lemonade Tray of Seduction- Guaranteed cheap sex with strangers in your own house.
(??) http://www.ittcanno...s/Leaf/KMX_1apr.pdf
[Hunter79764, Dec 01 2006]
http://www.panasoni...as_microspeaker.PDF
[Hunter79764, Dec 01 2006]
(?) http://www.apple.com/ipod/ipod.html
[Hunter79764, Dec 01 2006]
[link]
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I'm laughing because this has happened to me in reverse. I say something not intending to be seductive and then their eyes light up as if I had and then I have to find a way to change it around.
Bun for the humor. |
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[xandram] You need the anti-seduction tray, which plays a selection of recent Papal masses. |
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I thought this idea was called Lemonade Tray of Suction, and I just couldn't figure out what that was all about. Bun for not being that. |
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[hippo] I had a similar thought, so your anno made me burst out laughing! thanks |
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xandram- there were many, many times in the past where it was I that was the clueless one. I can't tell you how many times it happened that I was at some gorgeous lady's house and she tried to come on to me and I completely missed it. Must've been hundreds, no, thousands of times... yep, thousands of times where this tray would have come in handy. |
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Nice One!. Without calling for a list I am sure that this product idea can exploit many awkward (or indeed hackneyed) niche markets. |
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Mr. Spoon, would like some tequila with your lemonade?... |
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Great narrative. I could almost hear the music in the background as I read. |
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I hate it when gay tradesmen (I know that's redundant) start coming on to you. Awkward. I mean, how do you politely yet firmly shoot down a person upon whom the completion of your kitchen's plumbing rests? |
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I request the Lemonade Tray of Thanks but No Thanks. |
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[Text] Just serve up some coffee grounds... |
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//I say something not intending to be seductive and then their eyes light up as if I had...//
//Mr. Spoon, would like some tequila with your lemonade?...// |
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xandram, I'm beginning to see where your problem might lie... but if you mean what I think you mean but probably don't really mean and are going to change it around at the last second, let me just say, "But you used the Tray of Seduction! I heard the porn music and everything! Awww, man. That's just mean..." |
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see...the tray must be working...
Congrats on your 22 bun (so far) invention! |
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Would that this had been in use over the last few decades. I'm only now learning to recognize subtle seduction hints, and the attempts that went completely over my head in the past until far too late number in the - well, too many. |
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//I thought they were joking. Can I have my youth back please ?// :) |
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Well, my fiance counsels me not to spend time regretting...and she's correct. Still time in this world. |
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Your fiancée tells you not to regret all those birds you didn't boff. Odd that. :) |
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Well, it's official. My lemonade seduction days are over. We (and when I say we, I mean my wife) gave birth to two beautiful (everyone says so and they wouldn't be lying, would they?) boys on January 9, 2007, which also happens to be my birthday. Everyone is swell and has the correct number of body parts and I can't tell you all how tired I am right now. |
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Just thought I would announce this as a warning that there are more spoons coming your way, hopefully much sharper than their father. Yea! |
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[NotTheSharpestSpoon] (Inserting two thumbs up icon here)(Ittuih)Yea! |
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How much of the lemonade did you drink? Heh. |
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hearty congratulations to you all, NTSS. |
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That's great news, [NTSS], congratulations! I'm sure the two teeny teaspoons will grow up to be full-size souper spoons, just like their dad. |
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Great news [NotThe]! Remember, the hb is still open at 3am... |
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I've been waiting for this news and I'm so happy for the whole family.
Just drink the *diet* lemonade, now. |
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They are not identical, they are fraternal. And seeing as how we did IVF, I think that fraternal twins are more of the future than you might think. Soon I will have armies and armies of twins that do not look alike! Take that George Lucas!! |
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Attack of the Spoons.
Nice One! |
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You're right, [21Q]. After all, they are still tine-y.
I'll get me coat.... |
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//Offer them your phone number. But actually give them this number: (206) 376-9798 It's called the Rejection Hotline.// |
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IS that too Sour for you dear? |
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