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Anyone who has been following football (not the misnomed overprotected pansy version played in the USA, but the rough kick-at-everything-you-can version played across the rest of the world) the past few years knows that one of the main points of concern come when the players clutch at the jerseys of
their opponents and bring them into positions where the referee can easily muck up and penalise the wrong man.
To avoid this, footballers should compulsarily wear boxing gloves or oven mitts. This does not give them any grip when it comes to using hands, which a good footballer does not need! As they have no grip, they cannot hold another man's jersey.
On the lighter side, I would really like to see what Dennis Bergkamp does once he gets boxing gloves on, given his current range of activities on the field!
Hopoate gets 12 weeks for unsportsmanlike interference
http://www.wesclark.com/rrr/hopoate.html
"Oops." [waugsqueke, Oct 17 2004]
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Annotation:
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Seems excusable - after all, boxing gloves are to protect the hands, right? |
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a line of defenders before a penalty kick would look pretty amusing :) |
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Personally, I think the solution is to not give free kicks unless blood is drawn, like it was back in the good old days of the 1970's.
'Bubba, basketball is just a re-named version of netball, played by useless, lanky kids who are too frightened to go play with the girls.
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This would have solved that finger-up-the-arse problem. |
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I'm a little frightened by waugqueke's anno. Is there anyone willing to explain, in a suitably PG manner? |
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//why do they throw themselves on the ground and writhe around like a dog in cowshit when someone passes within ten feet of them on the field?//
A spurious argument entirely, and you know it, UB. |
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[waugs], thank you. I think. |
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Football's just a namby-pamby version of the lofty and majestic sport of pinball. |
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I can agree on that, at least. |
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With regard to the finger-up-the-arse issue, it's a reference to (I think it was a) rugby player in Ausralia or New Zealand or one of those Down Under places that used the anal tactic to startle and otherwise obtain a tactical advantage over his marker. |
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reen: "Cover up the hands of footballers so they can't grab their opponents." |
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What this would just insight the kind of violence that currently marrs the english game |
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Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo |
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If this was introduced you'd find that soon there'd be all sorts of additions to the protective equipment. Before you know it, you would had have teams of big, yet scared, guys covered from head to foot in so much armour and protective headgear that they wouldn't be able to play the beautiful game properly any more but would have to make do with running into each other for 10 seconds in every 2 minutes, while chasing the ball that one of their number just chucked away, before having to stop to discuss "tactics". Thus, the paying punter would be subjected to four and a half hours of hideous torture per niniety minutes of play and would be reduced to boasting about their team's "stats" rather than whether they won or lost/played entertaining football/ were a bunch of leg-biting hoodlums etc etc. |
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But such a game would never be tolerated. |
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