h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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When football teams perform badly, be they local or national, the cry invariably goes up to "Sack the manager !"
The Aztecs (and the Maya) had a long and gruesome history of human sacrifice, usually in front of a temple built on top of a steep pyramid. They sacrificed victims to placate their gods,
in the event of untoward events, or to ensure that said events did not eventuate.
They also, interestingly, played ball games. <link>
Now, dismissing and replacing a football manager is in its own way a "sacrifice"; in which case, why not make it a real one ?
Every nation should therefore construct its own Football Pyramid. When a manager is deemed to have committed a serious transgression (i.e. losing a home game against Germany, or Pitcairn Island under-15 second reserves) then the offender is dragged through a crowd baying loudly for blood, up the steps of the pyramid, to the altar stone, where their living heart is excised from their thorax using a traditional obsidian blade, and held aloft to placate both the audience and the gods (or demons) of football.
Mesoamerican ballgame
https://en.wikipedi...soamerican_ballgame
"some cultures occasionally seem to have combined competitions with religious human sacrifice." [8th of 7, Jul 20 2020]
[link]
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Can this be accomplished without actually murdering
somebody? Will bun with the stipulation that this is a
"special effects" variation of the idea. |
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I think that all societies are prone to succumb to a mass
murder epidemic at times. Who would have thought the
French would invent a machine to cut people's heads off
and make a party out of it? |
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Maybe this is a way to harmlessly satiate that urge. I
probably wouldn't watch it but maybe others could get it
out of their system. Halloween celebrations can be quite
gory, so I'm not being a wuss about that sort of thing, but
if that head on the front lawn of somebody's house to
scare the trick or treaters is real, well, kind of takes the
fun out of it for me. |
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So, "non-violent stipulation" bun for the interesting idea. |
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Doesn't the priest have to wear the skin of the
victim too? |
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"Strong states had few ballcourts, while weak central states
had many." |
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What does this say about our current political system? |
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What it says is "It's not usually the High Priest that gets their heart ripped out. It's usually some poor sod who was in the wrong place at the wrong time". |
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Sorry, [doc]. The real deal or nothing. |
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"Blood is compulsory ... they're all blood, you see". |
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...and where was it you disappeared to, pretel? Did it stir up a
little pent up rage or something? |
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Strange to say, the Mesoamericans had a bloodlust for ball games, but never made the connection it might have taken to invent the wheel. |
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This is truly wonderful. I'm all in. [+] |
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And why limit it to the managers? The salaries some of these
players make, and they can't even guarantee a win? Such
pyramid schemes might even coax the less-than-great types
out for retraining in an actual productive job. |
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//Can this be accomplished without// having to sit through a football match? |
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Indeed it can; no affiliation to any specific team is required, just pay for your ticket and you too can witness at first hand arterial spray, exsanguination, and a crude, brutal, unskilled partial thoracotomy. |
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Though you could just turn up to pretty much any rugby match and see the same thing, possibly more than once, for less money. |
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We're now taking sealed bids for the food, beverage and souvenir concessions by the way. |
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" ... and put a good head on it, Landlord." ? |
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Want a slice to go with that? |
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UFC needs clowns as well as goons. Perhaps a coach might
answer to disappointed fans or officials by appearing in a
"once in a lifetime" UFC cage romp. |
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