Lord Megafudge

John Smith was a boring guy. Had a boring job, boring wife, boring children and no prospects for the future. See, John was a fudge packer and on one fateful day, he was asked to 'man the large vat of fudge'. Being that John was a bit of a pushover, he agreed to do so, just until that fat faced fellow came back from the lavatory. As fate was conspiring against him on that day, something bad had to happen.

OMFG A METEOR STORM ABOUT 80 MILES AWAY FROM THE FACTORY VICIOUSLY SHOOK THE BUILDING. John shook from side to side, eventually falling over the very low safety rail and landing in the vat of smouldering fudge goo.

Of course, no one even knew John had disappeared because everyone was too interested in the meteor that had just landed on Earth's beautiful soil. A few days later, the factory got their sh*t together and decided to do the fire register. John's name eventually came up, but there was no answer. So they rang up home, and the boring wife answered

Wife: 'Hello' Guy from factory: 'Hi, your husband doesn't seem to have come into work today, just wondering if he's at home with you after the meteor thingy' Wife: 'Oh. No, he didn't come home.' Guy from factory: 'Cool story, bro' *hangs up*

THEN FUDGE MAN BROKE OUT INTO SONG AND DID A DANCE. THE END

I'll do more later on, but really, my brain just stuck it's two middle fingers up at me